“SORA, DONALD, GOOFY,
GET UP ON TO THE HYDRA’S BACK!”
In 2002 SquareEnix published the first Kingdom
Hearts game to critical acclaim. Its sequel was inevitable. It wasn’t until
3 years later, in 2005, when the game finally came out. Of course in True Square fashion they had to release a
sequel on the Gameboy Advanced first.
Without this game in between the story of Kingdom
Hearts II makes absolutely no sense at all. The entire game becomes a kind
of WTF happened. Why was Sora in a bubble? Who’s this blonde hair kid? Where
the hell is Sora? Why did people forget about Sora? Where is the rest of the
Organization? Oh, they were eliminated. When did that happen? Was I asleep when
I fought them? Why is Maleficent so nice in this game? Who the fuck decided to make this into a
sing-a-long? Why is the guy with red tape on his face sitting at a broken
table? What the hell happened to Billy Zane?
All this and more comes up as you
play the game. Most of these answers are revealed as you play, though some,
such as the table, still elude me. Never the less, I plowed through this game.
I must have played it a hundred times, trying to do everything in Jimminy’s
FUCKING journal, and trying to discover the secrets of the game. While I
eventually did it, and had fun doing so,( for the most part) I couldn’t help
but to feel a little more disappointed with each play through. That’s when I
began doing “research” on Kingdom Hearts
Chain of Memories. After doing some searching, and finding an emulated
version of the game on the internet, and played it. I went back to Kingdom Hearts II afterwards. I was able
to enjoy the game again just as much as I had when I first played it. There are
still things that piss me off a little, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves
here. We still need to go through introductions.
What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Voiced by: Jessie McCartney
Kingdom
Hearts II starts off by throwing the player a complete curve ball. Rather
than Sora, the main character from the first two games, you play as a boy named
Roxas. This boy keeps having dreams about Sora. He has yet to understand
exactly why. In the six days that follow Roxas is plagued by a white creature
who steals words, a bully with the insults of a two year old, a thief who
prevents him going to the beach, A man with flaming red hair who burns him, a
man with red tape on his face who wants to confuse him, A fall from the top of
the train station tower (which in retrospect is probably not a safe place to be
eating ice cream anyway), an encounter with two girls he’s never met (Kiari),
strange anomalies that no one else seems to be able to see, a girl (Namine) who
tells him he’s not supposed to exist, and finally his friends turning into ghosts
and passing through him. Suffice to say, Roxas has a pretty shitty summer
vacation. But hey at least he gets to
meet Sora in the end!
In case you haven’t guessed it,
Roxas is Sora’s nobody (see below), who was created when Sora freed Kiari’s
heart in the first game. While Roxas is mentioned several times throughout the
game, his only real appearances are through photographs or small parts, such as
rising up a bead in Twilight Town or a FMV of Sora and he fighting. Other than
that, his presence is pretty lacking. It’s quite easy, in fact, to forget all
about him when the game starts. Every once in a while though the game remembers
it has a story and will show you a picture of Roxas to keep you moderately
interested.
Voiced by: Justin Cowden, Sean
Marquette, Jessica DiCicco, respectively
These three act as the kind of
Tidus, Selfie, and Wakka, of the game. Their role is to try and keep the long
ass tutorial first part of the game from getting stale. They will keep your
interest far better than Tidus or Wakka ever did, but that isn’t saying much.
They also aren’t confided to the first few hours of the game, unlike the plague
that Tidus, Selfie, and Wakka all seem to be suffering from. Sora will meet
these guys in their “spot” and they will show up at other points in the game to
“help out” which mean nothing, unless of course “making oneself look more
important than one actually is” is helping. Although with Sora’s lackluster
knowledge on computers, Pence seems more than capable.
Will Friedle, Brandon Quintin
Adams, Melissa Disney, Jillian Bowen
Siefer is the one who does most of
the talking out of the gang. The others are just there to annoy you, much like
they were in Final Fantasy VIII with
the exception of Vivi (middle) who was in Final
Fantasy IX and was freaking awesome. Thank god you don’t have to fight
these guys (again Vivi is the exception) or I would have been even more peeved.
By the time you leave this level it will be too soon before you here another
“ya know” again. Sadly you do come back and you do hear it. But that’s nothing
compared to the other repetitious lines in this game.
Near the end of the game, or about
mid way through, you get a chance to “struggle” which basically means fight
Siefer again. Well, that is if you’re willing to go something like 50 rounds
with
both Hayner and Setzer. What’s more is that you don’t get to fight Vivi
ever again after the Roxas fight, but he royally spanked Seifer in the
tournament. Sure okay he was being possessed, but he still won.
Voiced by: Britney Snow
Voiced by Christopher Lee
I think Diz is Kingdom Hearts II’s little gift to us. Billy Zane did not come back
to voice for this game so they got Christopher YIPPEE Lee instead. Oh right,
so this guy puts Roxas in this fake town made up of data from hearts or
something. There he thinks everything will work out just as he envisions it,
but he soon realizes that everything goes straight to Hell. By the end of
Roxas’s campaign you know that what Diz really wants is to fuck the fuckers who
fucked him. Later in the game Christopher Lee comes back to voice Ansem the
Wise. If you’ve played the game and the fact that Diz is Really Ansem comes as
a surprise to you, then that’s just sad.
Voiced by: Richard Epcar
Richard Epcar takes over as the
voice for Ansem. I suppose it’s a good thing because if Billy Zane had returned
along with Christopher Lee, I might have never made it passed the tutorial.
Ansem screws Roxas over several times before finally revealing himself. It’s
only after the tutorial, and sometime after you have gained control of Sora
again, that he reveals himself as Xehanort, via a flash back by King Mickey.
Even later in the game he reveals another secret about himself. Are you ready? Ansem is really a hobo
Riku. The reason for this is because in order for Riku to use the darkness
inside of him fully he had to turn himself into the darkest person he knew,
which in this case, was Ansem. Confused? Join the club.
Voiced by: Hayden Panettiere
Kiari once again plays the role of
damsel in distress. She is captured by Axel, then released and captured by the
organization. Before all that though, she writes a letter to Sora and puts it
in a bottle, sending it out to sea. She also has a nice conversation with
Selfie and then later with Pluto. Axel captures her after she jumps into the
darkness and meets Hayner, Pence and Ollette. There it is revealed that Pence
can’t fight worth shit. Thanks to him, and the fact that Ollette can’t at the
very least run Kiari outside, she is captured and put in jail. Thanks to
Namine, the only one Kiari meets that's worth a damn, she breaks free and
is reunited with her friends, though not before Riku pulls a Keyblade out from
her heart. At the end she meets up with Sora again and the two of them share a
letter in a bottle together. Wait not a poupu fruit? Only figuratively, see
chalk drawing at end of game.
Voiced by: Molly Marlette (formerly
Molly Keck but they are in fact the same person)
Poor, poor Selfie is once again screwed
over in her lines. I think she literally has two sentences in the whole game,
and then vanishes forever. She is the lucky one of the three though. Wakka and
Tidus are mentioned only by name, but never actually seen in the whole game.
Maybe next time Selfie.
Voiced by: Haley Joel Osment
Yes he does finally make an
appearance. Sora takes over as the main character after Roxas leaves the
picture. He acquires all of Roxas’s abilities, items, and levels. If you spent
a lot of time in the game leveling Roxas up then you should have a pretty
powerful Sora. I once leveled Roxas up to level 30. I had wanted to get to
level 99, but didn’t have the patience. I did have 99 potions and hi potions
though, so it wasn’t a total loss. The first place you visit as Sora is
Yensid’s tower. There Sora is given his first drive form. There are four in
total that you can unlock (five in Final Mix+), plus one form that happens at
random. The chances of you actually needing the forms are very unlikely, but
they are fun. My two favorite forms are Valor and Final.
In this game Sora seems to have
lost some brain cells in hibernation. He’s to be a bit behind the times at the
very least. Also, though he remembers it in one of Roxas’s dreams, Sora has
this newfound tendency to meddle in the affairs of other worlds. In fact, most
of the time, he begins meddling even before the heartless have arrived. Sora
just feels a bit too, I don’t know, nice, in this game. Also, unlike in the
first game, his battle cries are very repetitive. In the first game he had a
couple of different phrases, including a laugh, while in this game, he says
like three different things. Now I’m just complaining, let’s move on.
Bill Farmer & Tony Anselmo
These two will be your allies
through thick and thin. Donald and Goofy act mostly as comedic relief. Goofy,
however, seems to have found the brain cells that Sora lost because he is
surprisingly wise in this game. I find
that in this game I become incredibly frustrated with Donald. If you don’t
customize him he will waste all of his magic on enemies and have none to heal
you with when you need it. Not only that, but when Donald does heal you (and
the same goes for Sora curing himself) it uses up all his magic. This means
that when you are in the middle of a particularly challenging fight, and Donald
heals you (while your own mp is still charging) only to be thwarted by one of
the enemies inescapable “power attacks” (Xigbar) that brings your health down
to almost nothing. At least you can put potions in your shortcut menu this
time. That is providing you remembered to equip them in the shortcut menu. So,
Donald and Goofy are great for story purposes. Once you change Donald’s
settings (or at the very least take off cure and have him using magic
sparingly, then he does okay. Just a side note: but Donald doesn’t acquire the
other magic that Sora does. He only gets the elementals. Sora also gets Reflect
and Magnet. I only just now realized that, strange. Donald could definitely
benefited from those spells.
Voiced by: Wayne Allwine
Mickey makes his first appearance
at the beginning after you gain control of Sora. He returns later about mid
game and then again at the end. Other than that, he will show up on certain
boss fights to help Sora should he fall. The only problem is that Mickey
doesn’t have a finishing move, and thus cannot finish the enemies. His role in
the game is minimal at best. Despite that, he’s good to have around when he
does show up. You will find yourself giving him many thanks in the progression
of the game, that or wishing curses upon him, either way.
Voiced by: Matt McKenzie
Auron is summoned by Hades in the
underworld to fight Hercules (and Sora) to the death. Auron tells Hades to fuck
off and runs away. He then tries to be Sora’s guardian. That doesn’t go over
too well. When Hades summons Auron he refers to him as “the mother of all bad
guys.” Auron’s not even a bad guy! HOW THE HELL IS AURON A BAD GUY WHEN HE WAS
ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS? Let’s take a look at some Final Fantasy characters that would qualify as the “mother of all
bad guys”:
5. Seymore FFX: It looks like this
guy stuck his finger in an electrical socket, yes, but at least he was one of
the bad guys.
4. Shadow FFVI: He too was one of
the good guys, but his actions were very villainous at times. Shadow didn’t
really care for anyone. He abandoned his own daughter to rob a train for shit
sake, how villainous do you have to be? Nomura put Sezter in the game (another
character created he created) so why not Shadow?
3. Sorceress Edea FFVIII: She
burned a guy alive in front of an audience of people, enough said. Okay so she
was “possessed” at the time but that doesn’t make her any less of a villain.
2. Jenova FFVII: Not only would she
have made a great villain, she is literally
the “mother” of one of Final Fantasy’s
Fandoms greatest villains.
1. Vincent Valentine FFVII: While
Vincent is another one of the good guys, his past is much shadier than Auron’s
past. I could easily see Vincent taking on the Role of a villain. Seriously if
Kazushige Nojima, Tetsuya Nomura, and Masaru Oka found a way to put Red XIII,
and Vincent in the game, they would have had every character from Final Fantasy VII. Barrett is already in
the game as the weapons dealer in Twilight Town, in case you didn’t know,
although he seems to be suffering from the same skin condition as Michael
Jackson.
And these are just the games that
Tetsuya Nomura had a helping hand in. If you take into account that Vivi was in
a game that Nomura didn’t work on Final
Fantasy IX, then that opens up a whole new can of worms. Garland, the
Emperor, ExDeath, or even Kefka could have taken on that role. God forbid they
ever put Omega in the game. It gives me shivers just thinking about it.
I guess Auron makes sense for the
story, but he is not the “mother of
all bad guys.” Sorry Nomura, but I don’t buy it.
Voiced by: Chris Edgarly
I’m pretty sure this voice actor
made a lot of people mad. It’s not because he was bad, in fact quite the
contrary, he’s quite good. What made people angry was that he didn’t swear
sounded like a country hick. Personally, while it’s not the voice actor I would
have chosen, I don’t really have an issue with it. It is what it is. All is
forgiven though when we get down to another
voice actor. Cid acts as the Hollow Bastion Honorary Restoration Committee Head
of Security. Honestly I think the writer’s didn’t know what to do with him and
just threw him in there for purposes of continuity.
Voiced by: Steve Burton
Cloud has taken up the role as
EmoGit, putting Leon (Squall) to shame. This guy shows up out of nowhere and
thinks that poor innocent Sepheroth is the cause of all his woes. Cloud finds
Sepheroth and beats him to a bloody pulp while Sepheroth begs for his life.
Though Sepheroth picks a fight with Sora first so everything evens out in the
end.
Voiced By: Rachel Leigh Cook
She spends the entire game looking
for Cloud. No matter how much she tires, she never seems to be in the right
place at the right time. When she does find him, she gives some speech on
“light” and offers to give Cloud hers. The scene would be more touching if I
didn’t replace the word “light” with the word “pants”. It’s pretty historical
when you do. The idea comes from an imdb message board.
Voiced by: Mae Whitman
While Yuffie’s voice actress has
been replaced (she was voiced by Christy Carlson Romano in the original) I can
hardly tell a difference. I actually like Yuffie as a character. She is fun and
a great fighter; that is when she stops moving around. My only issue with
Yuffie in this game is her outfit. While it somewhat resembles her normal
clothes, her black Hawaiian shirt is just terrible. I miss all the colors. They
really reflected her personality. Why do all the Final Fantasy VII characters have to wear black in this game? The
only ones who don’t wear black are Cid and Arieth. Thanks for that guys. This
might also explain why Red XIII and Vincent aren’t in the game. That would be
way too much red.
Voiced by: Mena Suvari
Oh Mena. I like you as an actress,
and I like you in American Pie but you do not make a good voice actress. I am sorry
to be the one to tell you this dear. Please continue to be a great actress and
show more of your body, but please don’t do any more voice acting, thanks. All though to be fair I thought you did a good job In Final Fantasy VII Advent Children.
Aerith doesn’t really do that much
in the game. She tries to cheer up cloud, but he can’t stand her robot voice
and flees. She does succeed in killing the MCP though, in part at least.
Voiced by: Doug Erholtz
I like this voice actor’s voice
better than David Boreanaz, but that may be a personal thing. Leon is genuinely
focused on trying to rebuild Hollow Baston. His focus is touching in a way. He
just simply wants his home back. It’s refreshing from the brooding darkness
that Cloud brings to the table. I don’t think I could handle it if he and Cloud
were both EmoGits. At the end of the game Leon is reading a letter and while
he’s reading a butterfly comes out. I really hope this is reference to Riona
SQUARE! I wouldn’t mind seeing more Final
Fantasy Characters other than those from VII. Quistis anyone?
Voiced by: Hedy Burress, Tara
Strong, Gwendoline Yeo
WHY WHY WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
WHY? What is the point of having these characters in the game? It’s like Square
realized that they needed to break up the game with more cut scenes so they
added these characters. These girls really have no point in this game at all.
They don’t add anything. They don’t offer you some useful advice. And they suck
as treasure hunters. After the third time of meeting these girls you are
rewarded with a new keyblade, which pretty much sucks by the time you get it.
The only thing the blade is truly good for is getting you to level 99 faster.
If you don’t care about level, though, then the weapon is next to useless. In Final
Mix+ the girls “discover” the Cave of Remembrance, which is something at least,
but not enough to make me care about them. These girls should go back to their
own game and stay there forever. Though I wouldn’t mind if Tara Strong came
back to voice someone else. I like her.
Voiced by: Crispen Freeman
I debated putting Setzer down in
the villain section, but then I realized that, much like Seifer and his gang,
Setzer isn’t really a “bad guy”. All he wants is for the ladies to keep
swooning over him. And when he realizes that there’s no way he can win, he
kindly asks Roxas throw the match. Roxas spits in Setzer’s face and beats him
down to a pulp. When he’s done, the ladies don’t even recognize Setzer anymore.
I kind of feel bad for him. First he loses the love of his life (in Final Fantasy VI) then he loses the
admiration of his female followers. Poor guy.
Voiced by: Corey Burton
This guy plays a lot of voices in
this game. His most important role, however, is that of Yen Sid (which is
Disney spelled backwards) who acts a guide to Sora and company. This guy comes
straight from the Fantasia movie. He is the Sorcerer in “The Sorcerer’s
Apprentice” starring Mickey Mouse. This is the first time he’s ever spoken
though. It’s his job to tell Sora what the hell is going on. He also gives Sora
the gummi ship.
Once again there are hundreds more
voices in this game. I haven’t even gotten to the villains yet. As before, most
of the Disney cast does a fine job. There are some voices that I wish didn’t
exist, such as every voice in Port Royal, but it’s not my call. I tend to just
glide over that level anyway. There are some characters, such as chip and dale,
which, while featured in the original, didn’t get voice actors. This game
remedies that. Some of these voice actors were not well received by fans. In
Port Royal, that is to be expected. I can’t speak for Keira Knightly, Geoffery
Rush, or Johny Depp, but I know that, after voicing Legolas in The Two Towers video game Orlando Bloom
refused to do any more voice acting ever. Another not very well received voice
actor was Tate Donovan who replaced Sean Austin as Hercules. This is strange
because Tate Donovan voiced him in the movie.
There is nothing
truly evil, but thinking makes it so.
Voiced by: Quintin Flynn
In Chain of memories Axel oozed with villainy goodness. In
this game, he does still retain that villainous charm, but it has mellowed out
a bit. Axel’s purpose in this game is to turn Sora into a heartless so that he
can be friends with Roxas again. His plans backfire when Siax steals Kiari from
him and gives him the “maximum punishment.” In the end Axel sees the error of
his ways and helps Sora out of a tight spot. While I do find the scene to be
touching, it doesn’t pull at my heart as much as the first game did. To be fair,
none of this game doest that like the first game. In Kingdom Hearts we got to know the characters more. Even Ansem, who
showed up and screamed out the word darkness every five seconds, was more
fleshed out I felt. This game just randomly throws a villain at you with no
rhyme or reason to it. It just kind of says “Oh yeah there’s supposed to be a
story here.” Of all the villains in the game though, Axel is definitely my
favorite. All the others (with the exception of Xaldin) pale in comparison. The
Roxas VS Axel fight (the second one) was awesome. I love that fight to this
day. It is certainly one of the highlights of this game.
Voiced by: Ryan O’Donohue
This guy first shows up in the underworld where he tells
Sora to run away. The next time we see him he makes us fight some water within
a time limit. After that he stays away from us until about mid game. Here he
tries one last time to get Roxas/Sora to come back. When Sora refuses, Demyx
starts rocking out. This fight will make you want to rip your hair out. Not
only do you have to worry about his water attacks, but every now and again he
will sick his water on you. At one point you have five seconds to defeat all
the water. If you fail then you have to start all over. It sucks. Other than
that there’s not much I can say about Demyx. His appearance in the game is
short lived.
Voiced by: Robin Atkin Downes
Luxord is another character with a minimal presents. He
shows up in Port Royal and steals the cursed treasure. When Sora finally
defeats the boss he congratulates him on a job well done and goes away. In the
final level of the game he refuses to introduce himself to Sora and goes
straight into a fight. The fight is unique in that you don’t have to worry too
much about health. Rather, you worry more about your time bar than your health.
Again, Luxord is a character wasted.
Voiced by: David Dayan Fisher
This is what the Organization XIII is all about. This guy
shows up twice in Beasts Castle wishing to turn Beast into a heartless. He is
cold and cruel and all kinds of awesome. I had a good feeling when I played Beast’s
level for the first time. It’s always the first place I go. His level is the
most fun out of all other levels. This level is what all other levels should be
modeled after. That is, unfortunately, not the case. This level is one of a
kind. Xaldin is definitely the organization member I fear the most.
Voiced by: Kirk Thornton
The first time Sora confronts this guy is in Twilight Town.
He tells Sora that Axel is looking for him. Sora has a few choice words for
Siax before he leaves. When next they meet Siax tells Sora that Kiari is safe,
and that if Sora ever wants to see her again, he better ignore everything that
he is about to say. Sora agrees to ignore everything that Siax says. At the end
of the game Siax tells Sora that he is useless and tries to kill him. Sora puts
him out of his misery. Siax is fun to fight and all but he just doesn’t compare
to Xaldin. That guy is all kinds of evil.
Voiced by: James Patrick Stewart
Okay so like dude. This guy is like so cool cause he talks
all tough and stuff. It’s like, whoa, this guy is like totally evil. I totally
like want to be him. He shows up with the words “oopsy
daisies.” From here he tries to convince Sora that he’s someone else. When
next Sora meets him he mistakes Xigbar as Riku. In the last level of the game
Xigbar tells Sora that he is a wimp and Sora puts him out of his misery to
prove him wrong.
Voiced by: Paul St. Peter
This guy shows up in the middle of the game and at the end.
He is the leader of Organization XIII. His plans are to make a world for
himself using Kingdom Hearts. Though try as he might Sora and Riku stop him. He
fails as a villain because he’s barely even in the game. Not only that, but his
plans just suck. He spends the majority of his time in the game bitching that
he doesn’t have a heart. Maybe if he had randomly screamed out the words
“darkness” every few seconds he would have been more menacing.
Voiced by: George Newbern
He shows up a couple of times and tries to tell Cloud that
he should follow his heart. Cloud screams out the words “darkness” and charges
at him. Later Sora is forced into a fight with him. Cloud shows up at the end
of the fight and screams out the word “darkness” and flies away. Tifa gives
Sora a keyblade and that’s all. The Sepheroth fight in this game isn’t nearly
as fun as in the first. In Kingdom Hearts
there were no words spoken between them, and if you weren’t prepared, it was
almost comical. In
this game, while the fight defiantly feels more epic, it’s just not as fun. In
fact none of the Final Fantasy VII
characters feel that fun. The whole point of them in this game is to promote Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children,
which came out around the same time.
Voiced by: Jim Cummings
This guy is the reason why Kingdom Hearts II feels so much lighter than the first game. Pete
is a villain that makes everything into some kind of comedy show. He’s going
around trying to turn people into heartless. It’s never mentioned how he
travels from world to world without a gummi ship. It never explains his present
in any of the worlds. It just throws him in there and puts in some funny lines.
No offence to the Nomura and all those who worked on this game, but what the
hell were you on? There must be some gas left over from when Square was
making/translating Final Fantasy V
and VI. That’s the only explanation
that makes sense to me.
These things (with the exception of the organization
members) are beings of few words. They appear every once in a while to piss you
off even more than the heartless do. What’s more, Most of them have a move that
will make you want to punch a hole in the TV screen.
These things are the main villains in the game. While some
may look familiar, most of them are brand new for this game. And all of them
have acquired the ability to really peeve the player. With the acceptation of
the many bosses you will fight, none of the heartless in this game (or nobodies
for that matter) is particularly fun to fight. Most all of the heartless bosses
are fun, but they seem rare in comparison to the normal heartless you will
fight. My personal favorite fight is the Dark Thorn fight in beast’s castle. I
also enjoy the Nobody fight against the creature that Roxas fights in the
Station of Calling. (Pictured above)
Two households both
alike in fair Kingdom Hearts, where we lay our scene
With introductions over, finally, it’s time to get into the
levels you will encounter.
At this point Sora wakes up and finds himself in the town
with no memory of how he came to be here. Jimminy says something for the first
and last time of the game and Sora, Donald and Goofy leave the “haunted mansion” (see
what they did there?) and find Roxas’s friends. Along with everyone else Roxas
came into contact with. Sora soon finds Mickey Mouse who tells him that he has
to go and talk to Yen Sid. After getting some new clothes, and a quick rundown
of the dilemma, Sora and friends are off. At this point Twilight Town is closed
off until about mid game. After a scene with Kiari it comes back. Sora returns
to find that Kiari was here, though not before confronting the organization
first. Pence tells Sora to go see her at the station, then when Sora arrives,
he tells Sora that Kiari got captured some time ago. Sora punches Pence in the
gut and tells him he fights like a ponce. Sora then turns into Roxas and back
again. I think this is the games way of reminding us about him. Story has been
pretty lacking up until now, so it’s a nice reminder. Sora leaves the town
distraught over the fact that Kiari is in danger.
Hollow Bastion/
Radiant Garden
Sora
soon leaves Hollow Bastion, but comes back on several occasions, as this world
acts as a hub world, much the same way that Traverse Town did in the first
game. This is also where Sora gets a
charm (aka another stupid item) to summon.
Chicken Little is the first summon you get. About mid game the world will come
under attack by Organization XIII and Maleficent all at once. At this point
Sora meets the emotionally unstable and hell bent on revenge Cloud, and the
fairy versions of the Gullwings from Final
Fantasy X-2 who need to just go the hell back to their own world. Much of the town will be destroyed throughout
this level, but as this happens more places become available.
After a touching scene where Goofy gets hit in
the (spoilers) head Mickey goes ballistic and starts stripping and Donald gets
so angry he turns invisible (no joke). One
of the most fun parts of this game is the 1000 heartless battle. I love that
part so much. What comes afterwards though, is something else. Sora is told by
Siax that every heartless he kills with the keyblade releases a captive heart
and that the hearts weave together to create Kingdom Hearts. So in essence by
killing heartless, Sora is helping the organization. Apparently he forgets this
because he keeps using it.
The last time Sora is required to come to town is when it is
over run by the MCP. Sora puts an end to the madness and, in the process, the
name changes to sound more like something you’d find in Monopoly game.
In
the promotional adds before the game came out there were images of Sora in
Hollow Bastion castle. While Pete and Maleficent reside there, Sora never goes
back. I would have liked to visit the old stomping grounds a bit more. Some more interesting facts about this level
also come from the promotional images. The game showed the 1000 heartless
battle right from the get go. I knew from that image that this game was going
to be epic. There’s only one difference though. You may not ever even notice it
if you didn’t see the first promotional images of the game. You can find them
now on various websites. The newer images have been edited to reflect the
truth, but the old images still exist. I have to say I would have liked to see
them keep the original concept for the 1000 heartless battle, but I’m sure
Square has its reasons. It’s probably for the best anyway. Square would have
found a way to fuck up the fun of the Behemoth battles in this game had they
kept it in there.
Beast’s Castle
With the exception of Atlantica and
the 100 Acer Wood, each level in this game has two parts. One part is what
happens before the Hollow Bastion Massacre, and the other is what happens
after. So in the second part of this level Beast is confronted by an even more
desperate Xaldin. This guy takes the two things Beast holds most dear (Belle
and the rose) and tries to hold them for ransom. Bell kicks Xaldin hard in the
nuts and takes the rose. Sora finishes him off. So passes Xaldin, coolest
villain in the game.
Land of Dragons
The second part of the level,
however, works great. Sora and friends run into Mulan (Ming Na) who is tracking
someone from the organization. Sora helps out as soon as he hears about it. The
player is soon thrown into battle with the hooded figure who runs away. Sora
comes to the realization that the person he was fighting might have been Riku.
He goes to the palace to investigate. Before arriving a heartless dragon
appears. Sora reaches the emperor’s door, hoping to see Riku, but is confronted
by the dude himself (no not the big Labowski) Xigbar. He runs away like the
little chicken shit that he is and Sora goes on to face the emperor. He soon
faces off against the dragon. Why Nomura couldn’t have skipped the whole thing
with the Disney villain in the first
place is a question that will remained unanswered for all eternity. This level
would have been much more fun if they had done the same thing here as with
Beast’s Castle. Just use the organization, the Disney villain doesn’t fit here anyway.
Coliseum
Story isn’t what you’re likely to
come to the coliseum for though. Like in the first game you can enter various
tournaments. That, however, is where the similarities end. You cannot level up in a single one of
these tournaments. That was part of the charm in the first game. You didn’t
have to go and grind some dark corner of a world looking for good enemies to
fight; you could just go to the coliseum and level up there. Not here though.
Without the ability to level up the tournaments are almost pointless. Sure
they’re fun, but why would go for such a
small reward? Weapons and items don’t mean a thing if you’re not strong enough
to win a boss fight anyway. And as if to add insult to injury, there are
tournaments where Sora is allowed to use his Drive and Summons. Again, this
would be a great place to level them up, but no, why don’t you just travel
around from world to world for 1000 hours and level them up that way. Doesn’t
that sound like more fun?
The most irksome thing about tournaments
is Jimminy’s fuckingpieceofshit Journal. If you play the game on expert
difficulty, you don’t have to worry about any of this crap. If you play the
game on normal though, it will piss you off. This game features, for some
reason far beyond what my feeble mind can comprehend, what I like to call random ass orb collecting.
In order to complete Jimminy’s journal, you have to collect the right amount of
orbs. This becomes particularly irksome when doing the Hades Paradox Cup (which
are just harder renditions of the previously won cups) where Jimminy wants you
to get 50,000 points or something. Sounds easy when you realize that there are
50 battles in the final cup, but then, after 1000 more hours of hard work and
suffering, you only come out with 49,000. Thanks but no thanks. The Hades
paradox cup isn’t even that fun. The final battle (spoilers) is Cerberus, who
by this point in the game, you’ve already fought upwards of three times now. If
the boss had been someone like Hydra, or another one of the titans, like in the
first game, then maybe it would be worth it. Fuck Jimminy and his journal. Play
the game on expert it’s less of a chore that way.
After you finish the first three
levels of the game you are taken to Disney Castle. This place was featured in
the first game only through cutscenes. This time you actually get to go there.
What makes this place even more fun are the hundreds of heartless. I love
fighting these guys, especially when you get into the castle. Shadows are still
the most fun heartless to fight hands down. About half way through the level
Sora is transported to the Timeless River, where he must find who is causing
the future to change. It’s Pete (spoilers) of course. I really like this level
a lot and I’m always sad when it’s over. The only other time in the game you
get to fight that many heartless is the 1000 heartless battle (though those
heartless aren’t particularly fun, they’re just easy) and the end of the game
in the city. The Timeless River features the hardest and most irksome enemy in
the game. Hot Rods. I do I do kind of like them though.
While the story in this level does
coincide with its movie and the game, I still hate this level. It doesn’t
really fit the game in my opinion. The realistic characters are a contrast to
the cartoon like looks characters in the game. What makes this level even more
tedious is the fact that you cannot injure the pirate enemies unless they are
in moonlight. That may sound cool at first, but when you have thirty seconds to
retrieve the medallion and the pirates refuse to move into the moonlight, it’s
annoying.
The second half of this level has
you pitted against a really fun heartless. The stuff in the middle about
getting the medallions back isn’t as fun. You have roughly ninety seconds to
get the medallions back. One or two of the medallion retrieval quests give you
30 or 40 seconds. One gives you five. Good luck with that one. Once all the
medallions are found you get to fight the heartless again. I do so love this
fight. At the end Luxord returns and tells Sora to keep up the good work. Too
bad that’s pretty much all he says. He’s much more menacing than the dude,
Xigbar ever is.
The next level you go to is
entirely up to you. If you chose Agraba you will begin with a scene in which
Iago, free of Jafar’s curse, wants to join the good guys. The whole level has an
Aladdin: the Return of Jafar vibe. I’d
be okay with this, accept once again, it feels a bit like Sora is meddling. The
Cave of Wonders which returns in this game has gone under some renovations in
the year that Sora has been asleep. The fun rooms and hidden pathways have all
vanished to be replaced by monotonous fighting, wave jumping, and timed trials.
Once again though, the final boss fight is tones of fun. You fight two at once!
And then we get to the second half
of the game. Here we are treated to a scene where Jafar comes back. We are
forced into this carpet riding nonsense where we have to travel all around some
ruins and pretend we are having fun. Once inside the only building still
standing we find that Iago has been lying to us the whole time. We go back to
Agraba where Aladdin says the carpet deserves a rest, which is short lived, as
Gene Jafar forces us into another, not so fun, battle. This will be the third+
time we’ve fought Jafar. The first time we fought him was in the first game,
the second in Chain of Memories, and now here. If he returns in the next game
then I’m going to need a new TV after punching a hole in it. At the end of
second visit Nomura remembers that Kingdom
Hearts II has a story and tries to tie it all together. The peddler will
tell you that a guy in a black coat came and helped him, but as we (the
players) did not see this, it might as well have not happened.
This level sort of kind of makes
sense for the game. It is much more reminiscent of the movie, unlike in the
first game. And it works. Not only that but it’s a nice change of pace when
Maleficent shows up in place of Pete. She gives the kiddies a nice new toy
heartless to play with while she captures Santa Clause to turn him into a
heartless. Oogie Boogie, whom she brought back, interrupts her and tells her to
fuck off. Maleficent tells him that he’s a fucking ass and that she hopes he
gets the shit bugs kicked out of him. And he does.
The second half of the level has
the doctor working on a puppet for the kids to boss around. Before he can
finish he is knocked unconscious. Meanwhile Jack assumes Sora’s help in finding
out who stole Santa Claus’s Christmas presents. It turns (spoilers) out that
the culprit is, in fact, the doctor’s experiment. This fight can be quite
difficult if you are not properly prepared for it. In the end they figure out
that the doctor didn’t give it a heart, so the experiment went in search of one
(similarly to the Nobodies in the game). Sora expresses some sympathy for the
experiment, but as soon as he leaves, all sympathy is gone. This level does a
good job in both parts of keeping up with the story of the game and the story
of the movie.
After completing one of these
levels a scene with Kiari interrupts the action. Should you choose to go and
find Kiari, then your next location will be Twilight Town. After that, Hallow
Bastion is in trouble and you will likely end up there next. Suffice to say,
it’s easy to forget about these places.
This level is basically a way for
Nomura to satisfy another of his fetishes (the first being zippers) the second
being lions. Once again Sora lands in this world and begins meddling. He
expresses some desire in becoming king. Rafiki tells Sora that he’s not cool
enough to be king and sends him away, though not before lion Pete shows up.
Sora goes with Nala to find Simba. Together they take Pride Rock back from
Scar.
The second half of this level is
about Simba being a shit king. Sora has to slap Simba a couple of times to help
him grow some balls. Together they fight the largest heartless in the game.
This fight can be both exciting and tiring. I’m not sure how I feel about it
really.
For those who are too young to know
anything about Tron, Space Paranoids is the game the main character, Flynn, is
a master at. This level is featured in Hallow Bastion’s computer. Sora and
company are transported there after messing around on the keyboard. The level
is pretty fun actually. There’s one part, when you are helping Tron, where I’ve
never been entirely sure what you’re supposed to be doing. You have to find a
block that is red in a bunch of blocks that are blue but the red block turns
blue when you are looking. If you hit the wrong block, you start all over. It’s
frustrating. After that, though, the level is pretty fun.
In the second half of the level,
which takes place near the end of the game, has Sora and company taking on Sark
and the MCP itself. This is another hugely fun fight. I love to use the
reaction command on Sark to knock him unconscious and then proceed in fighting
the MCP. In the end Tron takes over as the MCP and discovers that the town was
once named after an abandoned Monopoly square.
I think there may have been some
mistranslation on Nomura’s part. When I said I liked singing along to “Under
the Sea” while playing through this level in the first game, that doesn’t mean
that I wanted a fucking sing along. This level is just that. There are four of
five parts in total. After each part you are kicked out and told that you need
something, like a spell, or some other nonsense. What’s more, the two songs
from the movie featured in this level have been totally butchered. Fortunately
they use original music most of the time. If they had messed up “Poor
Unfortunate Souls” I would have had to burn Nomura at the stake.
This whole level is Sora meddling.
This is weird because King Triton was the one who scolded him for doing so in
the first place. Apparently, if you know someone from a different world, then
it’s completely okay to meddle. The only fun part of this level is to come back
(because Jimminy’s goddamsonofabitchpieceofshit Journal tells you too) and
totally fuck up the song. I like to come here last. That way when the level
kicks you out you can just hop back in and finish it. If the secret movie would
allow you to avoid this level all together, then I wouldn’t come here at all.
This is the final level of the
game. You arrive via a portal from Twilight Town. Once you enter, you
immediately fight several hundred thousand heartless. After you finish having
fun with that, you see a scene with Roxas, which was supposed to be playable,
but Nomura didn’t have time, so he says. At the end of the fight Sora can get his
final form. Should you proceed further you will end up in a fight with the dude
Xigbar. If you proceed further you will fight Luxord and Siax. If you still
proceed you will be forced to fight Xemnas five different times, because he
won’t fucking die. There are several scenes in this level that break up the
action. One scene has Riku turn back to normal so that he can join the party.
At the end, Sora and Riku are
trapped in the world. They manage to find a beach at the end of the world where
he and Riku share a cheese sandwich together and find a bottle with Kiari’s
note. After reading it a door opens back to Destiny Islands. There Sora is
finally able to return Kiari’s good luck charm. He also discovers that Kiari
wants to share more than the star fruit with him. Oh, and they get a note from
Mickey.
From my mother’s womb I was untimely ripped
While I can’t say I enjoy the
various types of heartless or nobodies in this game, I do love the boss fights in the game, all of which are incredibly fun and engaging, even with Phil screaming in your ear for you to "GET UP ONTO THE HYDRA'S BACK!"
However, there are some significant
missteps. The story, while good, is a bit lacking in places, some more
significant than in others. But with the game play and other various enjoyable
aspects of the game it’s something that you’ll hardly notice. The Organization
feels a bit like a missed opportunity on this game’s part. They could have been
so cool and interesting, but were outshined by Pete and a newly reformed
Maleficent. The other enemies of the
game are horribly cumbersome to fight. Shadows, Soldiers, and maybe Dusks, are
the only enemies that are any fun. All the others are a pain in the ass. The
game makes up for this though by giving you crazy fun boss fights.
As far as I know there was nothing added to
this game after the initial Japanese release. The Hades Paradox cup may be an exception to that, but as they
are just more difficult versions of Tournaments you’ve already fought, they
don’t really count. There are some differences though. There were several
things that were cut out of the game:
1.
Hydra’s poisonous green blood was replaced with
smoke
2.
Xigbar’s telescopic sight was redone to look
less like a gun sight
3.
Xibar’s sniper rifle animation has been cut out
4.
Barbosa’s sword does not stick out of Jack after
he is stabbed
5.
Will Turner doesn’t point the gun at his head as
he threatens to kill himself
6.
Pirate muskets have been replaced with crossbows
(because crossbows are much less dangerous than muskets, apparently.)
7.
Donald and Daisy’s fight has been altered
8.
The Nobodies that appear at Memory’s Skyscraper
(Just before the Roxas fight) are fewer.
So with all these changes it's only natural that the Japanese get a better version of the game. Let's take a look at what they got.
1.
Roxas is now fightable
2.
Extra cutscenes
3.
Recolored enemies (don’t really care about this
one.)
4.
Extra boss
fights against the other organization members
5.
Mushroom mini games
6.
New Synthesis items
7.
New Keyblades
8.
New abilities
9.
The player can collect crowns (puzzle pieces)
hidden around each world and receive items for it.
10.
A
costume change For Sora in Christmas town. (The music has also been changed
here. In the original game it was “This is Halloween” I have no idea what the
hell it is in Final Mix+. All I know is that it’s not “What’s This?” Which it
should be.)
11.
A whole extra dungeon to explore called The Cave
of Remembrance
12.
A full 3d remake of Chain of Memories (which
ended up coming out in America) but the enemy cards from that game no longer
affect Kingdom Hearts II in any way.
13.
Sora gains a new drive form which sees a return
of his old abilities Sonic Blade, Ragnorok, etc. and also brings back dodge
roll for those who wanted it.
14.
An extra boss fight against one of the armored
warriors in the secret movie
I think that’s
everything. So as you can see, it’s totally fair that the Japanese got more
stuff. There are absolutely no hard feelings towards Square at all right? Now
can you imagine if Square finally bit the bullet and said “Okay we’ve finally
decided to do a full remake of Final Fantasy VII for our fans. It’s only coming
out in Japan though.” American and European fans would rip Yosuke
Matsuda a new asshole. That’s kind of how this is. Americans/ Europeans got a
cut up version of the game (which wouldn’t be so bad) except that Japan then
got a game that was a hundred times superior. There’s no reason Square couldn’t
have pulled a Devil May Cry 3 Special
Edition or a Ninja Gaiden Sigma
on us Americans /Europeans and put it out in other countries. The game already
used the English voices, and they could have easily used the same wording from
the English version. Many of the new areas even have an English translation
under the Japanese. So why the fuck didn’t this happen Square? I’m sure Yoichi
Wada resigned do to this, and all the other stupid decisions he made. Maybe now
Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix+ can
finally come to America/ Europe (the proper way) and I won’t have to pretend to
know how to read fucking Japanese.
In the
end, while I can appreciate the game for what it is even without Final Mix+ the
fact that there is a better version out there just makes me mad. I almost don’t
even want to play the game knowing it. Then, of course, when I do sit down and
play it, it’s so much fun. I like to play the game on expert mode so that I can
get the secret ending. You don’t have to deal with Jimminy’s bullshit on expert
mode, but you do have to go to all the worlds, including Atlantica and the 100
Acre Woods. Thank god for skipping cut scenes in this game. Too bad we can’t
just skip over the level, but it’s a small price to pay for awesomeness. While
the Japanese version of the secret movie is far superior to the English version
I still like them both. The movie is
strange and exciting all at once.
After
this game came out fans of the series eagerly awaited the next game. It didn’t
happen. Before now we didn’t even know that it existed. Instead what we got
were four hand held games: Kingdom Hearts
358/2 days, Kingdom Hearts Birth By
Sleep (which explains the secret movie), Kingdom Hearts Coded/ Re:Coded, and Kingdom Hearts 3ds/ Dream
Drop Distance. Two of these games were actually fun while the others, not
so much. I do intend to play them in the near future. In doing so I will have
to find my Nintendo DS, which is collecting dust somewhere, probably in some
dark corner of my closet.
Sourses
All
images came from one of these places
Kh2.co.uk
Kingomheartswiki
Khwiki
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