Difficulty in Games

Call me old fashioned but I don't like this new trend of difficulty in games. It seem like now everything wants to be like Darksouls, which is known for its punishing difficulty. That's all well and good, but it makes the games feel unfair to me. Having to memorize what one enemy does when you're surrounded by hoards of enemies just doesn't seem fair to me. I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast let alone which enemy attacks which why, when, and how.

Dark Souls Stephen Totilo Kotaku

  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't like difficult games, on the contrary, I love a good challenge, but there is a fine line between being cheap and being hard. This, of course, isn't anything new in games. It's been around since the days of text adventure games. Also, I know some people may like games that are frustrating, and if that's you, more power to you, but that doesn't mean that the game isn't cheap and unfair. Before we go too far, however, let's define difficulty:
When you have enemies that can kill you in one to two hits regardless of your health, while you, as the player, have to hit that same enemy 20+ times to kill it, that's what you call unfair. There are exceptions of course, like during boss fights, which are supposed to be a test of all the things you've learned. Even they, can be frustrating sometimes, especially when the instant death moves comes out of no where.  I can understand dying five six, even ten times to figure out how to beat a boss, but after 20, 30 or even 100 deaths the game just stops being fun. I'd like to say that this solely applies to bosses, but in many games (like the aforementioned Dark Souls) it applies to every enemy. Some games allow enemies to attack you from off screen. How am I supposed to defend myself if I can't see that I'm being attacked. There are some games that fill the screen with so many things that you can't even see where you are and die as a result. Then of course, you have stun locks which is when you are hit by an enemy, stunned for a brief second, and then hit again by another enemy, wash and repeat, until you're health is gone. 
We can't talk about difficulty, though, without also addressing the opposite side of the spectrum, easy hand-holding, difficulty. This is when a game does things for you automatically, like blocking or dodging, or some other move to help you. The problem I have with that is that you don't learn anything from that, because, if the game is doing it for you, there's on reason to figure out how to do it. It can be helpful sometimes, especially if you are new to a series or franchise, but, at least for me, If I want to play a game, I want to learn it. I want to get good. I play on easy my first play through to get the ropes of the game, and learn the ins and outs, and then I switch to normal, and if I enjoyed it, to hard difficulty. But games that hold your hand, make it harder to learn, and in some games, even normal difficulty is ramped up way more than it should be, even after playing the game on easy.
So what makes a fair challenge?
People love Form Software Dark Souls, saying that once you take the time to learn it, it's very fun. Personally, I've never played it, so I can't really conform or deny those allegations. But what I have played are games with that Dark Souls formula, NioH for example, which I did not enjoy at all. My biggest gripe with those games is that they are punishing from the start. There isn't an option to play on easy to get better, you just have to die and try again, and that's not fun for me.
What is fun, in my opinion are games like Devil May Cry (the original) and Ninja Gaiden Black/Sigma. To me, those are the epitome of fair difficulty. I admit I was frustrated when I first played them, and I'm not even ashamed to say that I had to switch to Easy Automatic/ Ninja Dog Mode. Now before we jump to conclusions, these are not hand holding difficulties. In Devil May cry Easy mode means that more moves are unlocked at the beginning, and that you don't have to hold down the "charge shot" button. Also you are stronger and take less damage. In Ninja Gaiden, you are given more healing items, and more accessories as well as more defense and higher attacks.
In those modes, you're still playing the game though, things aren't being done for you and you still have to learn to be a better player, especially as you begin playing higher difficulties. In those games what makes them hard, for one thing, is enemy placement. As you play through the game the enemies you fight, even on easy, become progressively harder. On higher difficulties, those enemies can show up sooner, often when you are ill equipped to fight them. Even though they are harder enemies that doesn't mean that they do insane amounts of damage, or that they kill you in two hits. As a player you still feel like you have a fighting chance, and that's whats important.

Variety is also important. In Ninja Gaiden there are so many enemies that it's hard to count them all, and each one fights just a bit differently, keeping you on your toes at all times. Devil May Cry, while it has fewer enemies, the ones you do fight can be very tough. Devil May Cry has variety too. Some bosses, for example have a limited move-set on lower difficulties, meaning that when you play on higher difficulties they can do things that they couldn't do moves that they couldn't do on lower ones.
Also, I should note, that both games do punish you. In Devil Ma Cry there are certain enemies that you especially have to watch out for because they have Fatalities. This means that they can grab you and do massive amounts of damage. I should not here that while these moves may kill you outright at the beginning of the game (hence the name Fatalities) as you play through the game, and increase the size of your health bar, getting caught by these attacks will do tones of damage, but WILL NOT outright kill you.
In Ninja Gaiden, if you hold down the block button for too long some enemies will vault over you and skewer you with a sword. Others will knee you to the face. They don't do that much damage, but it is a lesson learned. There are some foes around mid game that can skewer you with the bayonet at the end of their gun, or throw you down to the ground. What's more, the attacks come out pretty quickly. If you aren't paying attention you can be seriously hurt several times in a row. It's absolutely infuriating, but it's also fair.
Fighting these various enemies, it forces you to change your play style. It forces you to actually learn the GAME not just learn what time to dodge a specific enemy attack. And once you've mastered it, you feel like you can take on the world. You feel powerful. That, to me is what difficulty should be.
To conclude. Easy mode should be just that, easy. I should be able to plow through enemies with out blinking, but once I get to a boss, I do want to be tested. That doesn't mean I want to die 100 times though, there needs to be a balance. Challenge me, but make it clear what I need to do, and give me the tools to do it. If I have to use all my potions, so be it. When I play a game on higher difficulties, I want to test my skills. That doesn't mean EVERY enemy should have instant death attacks, on or might, but they need to be well marked, like being a different color than all the rest so that you can tell them apart. They can be more aggressive, sure. They may be more nimble, that's cool. They may even have different moves sets on higher difficulties, and I'm okay with that. Maybe even surprise me by making me fight an enemy from a later part of the game sooner. Make me think on my toes.
What a game shouldn't do is hold my hand or punish my for playing.