Prince of Persia The Two Thrones

“Most people think time is like a river, flowing swift and sure in one direction, but I can tell you, they are wrong.”

“Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones” is the third, though not final, game in the Sands of Time trilogy. If not for the Sands of Time movie it would have been the last. There are new features in this game that have nothing to do with fighting that are very fun. There are other things in this game that have to do with fighting that suck balls. There are a lot of other things that this game just does completely and utterly wrong. But more on that stuff later. The thing I really like about this game is the story. It ties up the game very well. It’s a shame that there are so many things that are wrong with it. Oh well, you win some you lose some.

The most confusing thing about this game for most people is the beginning. As the Prince sails home he is with Kileena. If you didn’t get the secret ending in “Warrior Within” then this made no sense what so ever to you, since, in the normal ending, you kill Kileena. The good news is, youtube is there for you.

Characters

The Prince(voiced by Yuri Lowenthal) is back to his fun loving quirky self. After sharing a vision with Kileena on the boat to Babylon the two of them got some much needed rest. No longer does the prince scream at nothing. No longer does he yell out “next” to his opponents. He is kind and compassionate and completely insane But more on that later. I have to say, I like Lowenthal’s Prince much more than Robert Atkinson Down’s Prince. Don’t get me wrong, “Warrior Within” was the first I ever heard of Down’s and I really like when I can pick out his voice from a game or TV show, but, to me, it’s like changing Woody’s voice from “Toy Story” from Tom Hanks to Arnold Shwartzineger. It just didn’t feel right. But it’s back to normal, and so too, are his moments of talking to himself, though this time around it’s not really to himself.

Dark Prince voiced by Rick Miller. The Dark Prince is a gimmick of the game. Within the first ten or so minutes, the Prince is tainted by the Sands of Time when they are released which nearly turns him into a sand monster himself, and would have, had he not picked up the dagger of time. As a dark Prince, you are faster, stronger, and constantly on the hunt for more health, as your health bar depletes. There are times in the game that this can be a problem, like near the end when you have to dodge several traps in a dark room. Dark Prince argues constantly with the Prince about what the right course of action is. This creates some humorous banter between the two. While I think it would have been cooler if the Dark Prince was voiced by Robert Atkinson Down, it works this way too.

  Kileena (voiced by Sarah Carlson) is all right. Gone is her Persian inspired accent in place of a softer tone. One of the things that, apparently, fans didn’t like about the second game was the lack a story. That’s not to say that the story wasn’t there, but in the “Sands of Time” and in this game, the story is being “told” to the player as it unfolds. The second game’s story just unfolded. That is, perhaps, why there was so much less talking in the second game. At any rate, the story telling is back, and it’s told by Kileena. I have to say it’s a bit odd to me that she takes over telling the story, but, hey, they paid her to voice the character, and without the story she has one line, so yeah. I don’t hate her voice actress in any way, in fact I like her voice, but the problem I have with it is that nothing about it resembles a Middle Eastern accent. Also, good God is her character model ugly.

The Vizier voiced by Harry Standjofski. Wow. Just wow. And not in a good way. In the first game the Vizier was so quiet you could barely hear him. His voice was, maybe British, but had small tones of a Middle Eastern accent. They might as well have gotten Arnold Shawartzineger to voice this guy with the change to his voice. I have to wonder what was going through their heads when they hired voice actors for this game. I imagine something like this.

Producer: “Hey, I know the game is set in the Middle East, but let’s just use a black guy from New York, no one will ever know the difference.” Anyway, you only have to hear him speaking for a short time just before he stabs himself with the dagger of time and becomes a flying Venus flytrap. After that, his voice seems a little better, but maybe it’s because it sounds more like he’s whispering. Mind you, I don’t think you hear him speak again till the end.

Farah voiced by Helen King. Okay, were they even trying? She’s not even British. They just hired some North American woman to do the voice for her. She has no accent and she doesn’t even try to pretend to have one. It’s obvious that, in this game, all Ubisoft wanted to do was finish it so that they could move on to Assasin’s Creed. It’s a shame really, because I feel like this whole game was rushed. That maybe why I don’t like it. At any rate, you first see Farah in one of the worst most horrible moments of this game. She will join you for a bit, like old times but the banter between them is minimal at best. Since the Prince didn’t create the sands by killing Kileena, Farah doesn’t remember anything, while the Prince does. It would be sad if you weren’t so put off by the fact that the voice actress ISN’T MIDDLE EASTERN AT ALL. Let me be clear. I don’t hate the voice actress. She did a fine job. What I hate is that Ubisoft just seems to have given up with this game and it shows.

 

Game play

Case and point, we move to game play. Let me start with the things I like. There is a new gimmick in the game where you can shove the dagger into a hole in the wall. Often you are forced to climb up a surface this way. It’s a nice touch. There are platforms that help you to extend your wall runs as well as lamp posts that allow you to extend them in Dark Prince mode. As the Dark Prince you can hang from some things and use stealth to take down enemies. Stealth can also be used as the Prince. And, now we get into the problem areas with the game. Stealth take downs suck. You have to use the dagger which is supposed to glow to indicate the attack is ready. Often you will find that the dagger is in just the wrong light so that you miss the glow prompt and have to fight a whole hoard of enemies. This is especially problematic when you are in an area where, if you fail, a guard will shove his sword into a sand pillar and send out fifty enemies. The fighting in this game is somewhere between the first and second game. I’ve never really found it fun. Although, apparently it’s the “best in the series” fuck that. “Prince of Persia” has never had good fighting mechanics. I played this game on easy and I still wanted to bang my head against a wall. That’s not easy, that’s frustrating, and believe me I play “Ninja Gaiden” I know what hard fair and hard I want to rip my controller in half with my bare hands feels like, this game is the later. I’m sure there is someone out there who likes it, and had no problems with it, but I am not that person. Had the stealth portions of the game played more like the “Batman Arkham” games then I might have enjoyed them more. I guess it was all just prep for “Assasin’s Creed”. What’s more, the stealth portion of the game wasn’t even the worst part. The boss fights are horrible. Each boss is rage quite inducing. There are only three before the final boss fight, but they all require you to use the glowing dagger thing. The one with the Gemini

twins is the absolute worst. I hate that fight with a passion. That may only be because you come to that fight after one of the single most horrible moments in the game. I said single, but you actually do it twice. Yes, I am referring to the chariot racing. Chariot sequences in this game are horrible. Not only do you have to watch for enemies, but you have to avoid hitting anything. What’s worse is that the controls are a totally wonky, making moving away from walls very difficult. The races are about as fun as falling from a ten story building. What could be worse than a chariot race in “Prince of Persia”. I know! How about riding on the back of a giant sand troll? While it’s not a chariot, it still sucks just as hard.

Game Design

It’s obvious that the developers were rushing with this game. The in game models look fine, but the cut scene models are awful. Fortunately, you only have to look at them on occasion. I know it’s part of a trilogy that is near and dear to many people’s hearts, but I have to be honest. I really didn’t like the game. I really wanted to like the game play but I just couldn’t. There’s hardly any aspect of it that I find fun. It’s a shame really because this game has great potential, and a great story. In all honesty, the only thing I can say I like about it is the plat-forming moments, of which there are many, fortunately, and the music. Of course the story is good as well, but that’s all this game has going for it. Back on the music for a moment, it returns to its Middle Eastern vibes. This is a good thing, considering all other aspects of the game, including voice actors, don’t seem to have any relation to their Middle Eastern counterparts. At least they brought back the voice actor from the first game, but even he can’t help save the game. There is one thing in this game that I love and that is the scenery. It takes place in Babylon and you can see the beauty there. Even though many of the buildings are on fire it still radiates with magnificence. It’s a kind of reminder of how great the game could be, if only it was given a little more polish.

Story

I probably should have done this sooner, but, whatever. I’ll be quick. The story of the game takes place in Babylon. You arrive with the city under siege. When your boat is destroyed you wake up to find Kileena being taken away. Naturally, the Prince gives chase. He fails, she dies, he turns into a Dark Prince, goes through a bunch of shit (see above) and finally defeats the Vizier and the darkness inside him. The Prince wakes up in Farah’s arms. She asks him how he knows her. And so the Prince begins relating a story to her. Starting the first game over, so-to-speak. This is the single best ending to a trilogy ever. It is hindered only by the fact that Ubisoft made a fourth game. It has nothing to do with the sands of time trilogy really, and only means to cash in on the movie, but still. Quite honestly, though, had that been the second or third game in the series I think I would have loved it a whole lot more. Of course, then there is the 2008 Prince of Persia remake. I liked that game despite what people say about it. The fighting is still meh and the light seed collection is tedious, but I liked it none the less. But that’s for another time.

 

Conclusion

          It’s obvious that the Ubisoft team was burnt out from the series. That may be the reason for the change in the 2008 game. What’s even more depressing is that, despite getting, mostly, rave reviews, Ubisoft has yet to return to the “Prince of Persia” series. If you try to look it up on Google, you’ll find that, though they say they are “thinking about it” they obviously aren’t thinking hard. The only news we have is a supposed “leak” where a former Ubisoft employee posted some very obscure hint as to the next game. To be honest, I don’t think there will be a next game. I think Ubisoft is so focused now on “Assasin’s Creed” and now the new “Watchdogs” that a new “Prince of Persia” game is a shadow in a thought. Honestly, I hope I’m right. I hope that it surprises me with the best comeback in the history of ever, something like “Beyond Good and Evil 2” did. Alas, I don’t see it happening. Not in my gaming lifetime anyway. I hope my grand children have as much fun with the next game as I did with the first.