Saturday, May 11, 2013

Kingdom Hearts


“I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this for real, or not?”

Back in 2002 Squaresoft, who by then had not acquired Enix, was raking in their cash from Final Fantasy VII, VIII, and X. the A Squaresoft producer, Shinji Hashimoto, met a Disney executive in an elevator one day and they came up with the idea for this game. Tetsuya Nomura, who helped write the story for Final Fantasy’s VII, VIII and X, as well as acted as character designer and battle visual director, somehow became the person in charge of making it.

The idea was simple. Bring Final Fantasy and Disney together. This combination was just strange enough to intrigue people enough to try the game out. The game was fantastic, bringing in a following of fans almost as big as Final Fantasy’s own fandom.

The game brought together Final Fantasy, for the older players, and Disney for the younger players. The game play, too, was a departure from the traditional JRPG’s that Square had come out with thus far. It was a big risk for the company, and it just happened to pay off for them. The game, like all the other great Square franchises (excluding the NES and SNES generations) the game spawned a billion sequels.

The difference in Kingdom Hearts is that each game features the same main character and sub characters. So let’s get into it.

    
CHARACTERS
 

Sora: Haley Joel Osment (that kid from Sixth Sense)

Age: 14

He has his share of concerns, but manages to keep an upbeat attitude and has a strong sense of justice.

The game starts with Sora finding himself on a platform depicting Snow White (or one of the other popular Disney princesses). A disembodied voice tells Sora a bunch of stuff, and the game begins. After his island is destroyed (about 1 hour or so into the game) Sora is given the keyblade from out of the darkness (which was supposed to be a chainsaw, apparently). Sora travels to some Disney worlds and fights some Disney villains. Osment does a fantastic job in voicing the character. In fact it’s hard to find a bad voice actor in this whole game, though not impossible.

 

Riku: David Gallagher (the younger brother from 7th Heaven)

Age: 15

He may seem cool but he’s very curious about the outside world and will do anything to get off the rock he lives on and see what’s out there.

Riku exists simply for the purpose of pissing Sora off. He tries to take the keyblade form Sora because he thinks he’s cool like that, but the keyblade betrays him when Sora gives some speal about how his heart reeks of ooey gooey goodness.

David Gallagher does a stellar job of delivering his lines.

 

Kiari:  Hayden Panettriere (from Heros, though this was before then.)

Age: 14

She moved to the island and sparked Riku’s whole desire to go out and see other worlds. So in a sense all this is her fault. Kiari acts as your typical damsel in distress. When Sora finally finds her again, he locks her away in a house in Traverse Town, but she somehow manages to escape and find her way to the end of the game.

Hayden (not going to try to spell her last name again) does a very good job of voicing the character.

 

Donald: Tony Anselmo

 At first the point of Donald and Goofy is confusing? Why are they here? What role do they play in all of this? The answer to these questions is soon answered, when Donald and Goofy join Sora on his quest through the other worlds.

The presents of these characters grows on you throughout the game. When Cerberus was kicking my ass, and Donald first healed me, I knew it was the start of a beautiful friendship. Unfortunately, Donald spends much of the first half of the game unconscious, being knocked out by enemies.

 

Goofy: Bill Farmer.

See above for more information.

Goofy acts as the knight. He uses a shield to fight rather than a sword or hammer. Goofy will be your greatest alley, especially while Donald remains unconscious. It’s fun to watch Goofy try and remember the word meddling, and it’s fun to hear the traditional “Goofy yell” (all be it at strange times). Otherwise Goofy is a rather wise character. It fits him though. He’s also really good at helping keep Sora alive.

 

 

 

 

 

Jiminy Cricket: Eddie Carroll

Jiminy acts as the games chronicler. While he plays more of a background roll, keeping a journal about characters you meet, Dalmatians you find, Heartless you beat, and trinities you collect; he also plays an actual role in game as well. When you meet Pinocchio in the accessory shop (which is entirely optional) he and Pinocchio have a conversation about how “lying is bad m’kay”. Inside the belly of Monstro, Jiminy helps Pinocchio once again. That’s all we get out of him though. Not too much, but not too little. I like Jiminy, and I’m glad they found a way to include him.   

 

 

Tidus: Shaun Fleming

This is the same Tidus from Final Fantasy X yes. He has like four lines in the whole game, so it’s hard to tell how well he actually does. Just from what I hear though, he does fine. He pretty much ducks out when the game starts. His only real purpose in the whole game is to fight you.

 

 

 

 

 

Wakka: Dee Bradly Baker

 Once again, he has like three lines. See above for more information. I will say that I don’t like Wakka’s voice. It worked great in Final Fantasy X when he was an adult, but in this game it just doesn’t work for me. Also, apparently Wakka was supposed to be Irvine from Final Fantasy VIII which could have been cool. I would have liked to see more characters from VIII.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Selphie: Molly Keck

Selphie from Final Fantasy VIII has three lines as well. See above for more information. I honestly didn’t like her voice at first, but it kind of grew on me. I think she does a good job. It would have been interesting if they had put Irvine in. Selphie and he had a thing in Final Fantasy VIII. Selphie is also rather obsessed with the “love fruit” (poupu) so it would have made sense.

 

 

 

Squall / Leon: David Boreanaz

He’s the only other Final Fantasy VIII character. Nomura must have known that fans weren’t too hot on Final Fantasy VIII, so he put as few characters in as he could.

Squall (who prefers Leon in the Kingdom Hearts verse) is just as much of an emo-git as he was in his own game. He has far more lines than some of the other characters. When you first meet Squall, he tries to kill you. It is possible to beat him, but this early on in the game, it’s not likely that you will.

Boreanaz does an okay job with Squall. To be honest though , I think Doug Erlholtz does a better job in the second game, but that may only be because Squall is less of an ass hole in that game.  Either way, he does fine.

 

Cloud: Steve Burton

 Cloud finds himself caught up with Hades. It would appear the Vincent Valentine sneezed on Cloud sometime between Final Fantasy VII and Kingdom Hearts, because cloud is sporting Vincent’s cloak and claw hand. His sword appears to have broken too, because it has tape all over it.

Steve Burton does a fine job in voicing the character. Cloud is dark and mysterious in this game. He’s “looking for his light” whatever that means. Quite honestly, I think Cloud’s personality has been lost somewhere. He was never this dark or menacing in Final Fantasy VII. In fact he was kind of a dope. If you don’t believe me, then go play the game again, you know you want to.

 

Yuffie: Christy Carlson Romano

She sounds just right. I honestly don’t know what else to say about her. She really doesn’t do that much. I personally think Yuffie looks better in this outfit than that gaudy piece of shit she calls clothes in Kingdom Hearts I: Advent Children, but I may just be being biest. Also, fun fact, Yuffie was originally supposed to be Rikku form Final Fantasy X but they had to change it realizing that it would confusing to have Riku and Rikku’s in the game.

 





Aerith (not Aeris): Mandy Moore.

Again, she voices the character great, but doesn’t do much in the overall story. She does give you Curajdkhghjrjhgkjh at the end of the game if you talk to her though, as well as the last of Ansem’s Reports. I think Mandy Moore does a splendid job with her lines. It kinda makes me wish she had a few more. I’ve always had a secret crush on her though, sooooo . . . moving on.

 





Cid: Not cool enough to get a voice actor for this game. (Maybe Square was afraid he would swear too much.)

 It seems Cid has quit smoking in order to chew on toothpicks.  He deals with airships gummi ships. Too bad he can’t make them more exciting. He also runs the accessory shop for a while.

 


























The rest of the Disney Heroes

Look. I could sit here and name off every character that you run into, but as the back of the box says, you meet more than a hundred Disney characters. That’s a lot of damn names. Most of the Disney characters are played by the same people who played them in the movie or TV show. Some acceptations to this are Sean Astin, who voices Hercules, and Flounder, voiced by Eli Russell Linnetz. For the most part, they all do a fine job. Those that don’t, fortunately, don’t have many lines.

 



The Villians

Ansem: Billy Zane

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD  Now that that’s out of my system, I love his voice. What could be better than a villain spouting out the word “darkness” every five seconds. Ansem is a great villain made even better by a great voice. Too bad he didn’t come back for the other games. He will be missed.

 

 

 

 

 

Sepheroth: Lance Bass

Sepheroth is an optional boss you can fight in the platinum match and is voiced by Lance Bass. Once you get over the initial what the fuck factor he actually does a good job. To be fair though, his lines consist mostly of “hoo haa come closer sin harvest angel” (which I always thought was sing heartless angel) so it’s difficult to give any kind of proper judgment. But those hoo’s and haa’s were pretty damn good if you ask me. They were made all the better with the cool echo effect on his voice. Way to go Lance.

 

 

 

 

Heartless

Heartless are strange beings that hunt Sora and occasionally piss the player off.  There are many kinds of Heartless. Some of my favorites are: Defenders and Shadows. They are really fun to fight. Some of the more annoying heartless are Air Soldiers, Wizards, Large Bodies, and Fat Basterds Bandits, who have been the cause of many of my deaths.

 

There are only a few Heartless that are worth mentioning in further detail.

 

Darkside

The first time the player confronts him, he has just picked his weapon (staff, sword, or shield). The fight is rather hard for the first fight of a game, especially if you’ve never played it before.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kurt Zisa

Kurt Zisa is an optional boss at the end of the game. I heard that the name was chosen from a name in game contest that was being held. If I had known about this sooner, I might have put my own name in, so thanks for letting me know Square. Kurt Zisa does have a nice ring to it though. Kurt Zisa is wicked hard to beat, and loads of fun to fight. In phase one of the fight, your magic is locked and you must rely on items and physical attacks. In the second phase, you can use magic, but you have to break his magic barrier by tossing his own fire balls back at him. When he starts his spin attack, it’s pretty much over. This fight is more about using your abilities. It’s tones of fun. You don’t get anything for beating him, (much like in the older Final Fantasy games) unless you consider satisfaction a prize.

 

 

 

Phantom

The Phantom is another optional fight. He starts off by putting a time limit over someone in your party. If the time runs out, the character dies, and cannot be replaced until the battle is over. The fight itself must be won by using magic or physical attacks on the corresponding color orb beneath the Phantom’s cloak. And of course the player has to watch the clock and stop it from killing your party. Great Fun!

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The remainder of the Disney villains are all voiced by those who played them in the movies or TV series. I think Locke, Shock, and Barrel (above) might be voiced by someone else, but they do a fine job. As do the rest of the cast. Please don’t ask me to name every one.

 

Now that introductions are out of the way, we can focus on the story and worlds.

 

 

 

 

WORLDS




 


Destiny Island/ Disney Castle

The game starts out on Destiny Island (well that is if you discount Sora’s dream. I’m not sure where that takes place). Sora, Riku, and Kiari are building a raft to leave the island. In the mean time you can fight Tidus, Wakka, or Selphie for some early experience points. You can fight Riku as well, but it’s unlikely you will win at this point. After you’ve had your fun with fighting, you have to go on a fetch quest for a couple of items. That pretty much sums up the first day. On the second day, Sora and Riku race (which, again, you can win but probably won’t). After the race Sora meets a mysterious man who tells Sora he’s an idiot (no joke: “one who knows nothing can understand nothing”, see). On the thirdish day a storm hits the island. Sora is worried about the raft and takes his boat, which obviously isn’t good enough to travel to new worlds with, and heads back to the island.

There he finds a Riku high on the shrooms, which you collected earlier that day, and ready to be swallowed up by the darkness. The darkness doesn’t eat Sora for some reason, but instead gives him a keyblade. With new weapon in hand, Sora vanquishes the monsters that have invaded his island. This is fun to spend time on, as you can get some early, and much needed levels.

When you are ready you can go to the “secret place” where you find Kiari. She doesn’t look to good, and disappears in your arms when you touch her. The island then breaks apart and you are thrown into battle with Darkside once again.

In the mean time, there are several scenes in Disney Castle, where Donald Duck finds that King Mickey has disappeared. He tells Goofy, and they soon leave the castle on something called a gummi ship, in search of the King.



 Traverse Town

This town acts as a hub for all your travel needs. It is one of a hand full of levels made just for this game and has never been featured in a Disney movie. You will find yourself back here for many reasons throughout the game. Some reasons are story related, and others are game play related. 

The town is split into three districts. The first district is where you will likely spend the most time. It’s where all the shops are, and where you find most of what you need. The second and third districts act as a practice arenas for fighting enemies. Also in the second district is the 101 Dalmations house. You will go want to there on several occasions, after retrieving nine puppies, to receive special items from Pongo and Purty. The third district is where you meet Merlin. You have to burn the door down to get to him though. Once there, he will help you with magic if you need it. If you take the book to him, which I’m not sure you have to do, you can also visit the Winne the Pooh level, which I know you never have to do. I never cared much for Winne the Pooh, and the only reason I ever go there is to 100% the game. If not for that, I’d recommend avoiding it all together.

Also in the third district is a house that acts as the base for the good guys. Other than a few secret areas and some things to do on the side, there’s not much to do here. As I said, you will find yourself spending most of your time in the first district.

I would also like to point out that you can jump on, behind, and over the counters and on shelves. This isn’t a big deal, but it’s still fun to do every once in a while I like to start and put out fires in the accessory shop. Useless, but fun. Also, once Cid leaves to go work on gummi ships, the shop keeper, who’s character model should look familiar to you, will tell you that you must be confusing him with someone else. The reason I bring this up is solely for the purpose of showing how the game makes fun of itself.

After the first initial visit to Traverse Town, when you meet Donald and Goofy, you can pick and choose your next location. You have one of two choices. After the player visits the first world, another world becomes available.  Once you have completed all three worlds you can go on to the second half of the map.



Wonderland

  In Wonder land Sora and the gang find themselves chasing after a white rabbit. Sora follows the white rabbit into the Queen of Heart’s court where they find Alice on trial. Sora figures out that the Heartless are behind it, and attempts to find proof. Entering the lotus forest, you find the Cheshire cat, who gives you vague hints on where to find the evidence. There are four pieces of evidence total. If you find them all, you are given a fifth piece of evidence. But the game only requires you to find one.

Depending on which piece of evidence you pick, you could end up either fighting alongside Donald and Goofy or you could be by yourself. If you so chose, during the fight, you can knock over the Queen of Hearts. After the fight you end up going on another mission to find the, now missing, Alice. Later you fight a rather difficult Heartless called a “Trickmaster”. This is a pretty difficult boss this early on in the game. You can use fire on him from the table to knock him unconscious. It helps. Also, does anyone else notice that his weapons look like the Cheshire Cat’s tail?

The level itself feels very odd. It is the only level in the game where you can touch the sky, literally. One of the most impressive places in this world is the Bizarre Room. You can walk all over the ceiling and the walls. It’s very impressive and very well detailed. It’s also a bit dizzying. Every time I go back to the Bizarre Room, I always seem to find something new there. The rest of the level, The Lotus Forest and the Tea Party Garden also have plenty of hidden secrets to go back and find. It’s a fun level in general.

 



Deep Jungle

This level splits Donald and Goofy up right away. Sora lands in a big house and is forced into battle with Sabor (the jaguar). There Sora meets Tarzan, and slides down tree limbs, finds Jane, and eventually must defeat Clayton.

The Heartless do not appear in this world at first. They Show up about half way through the level. In the mean time, there are plenty of other things to find. If you can collect all the projector slides, make a ether by finding all the recipes scattered throughout the camp, swing on the jungle vines, or slide down the jungle tunnel. Later in the game, if you come back, you can slide down the tunnel again. If you collect all the fruits, another path opens. There are several paths to slide through, if you so desire. Your time is recorded in Jiminy’s Journal. Same goes for the vines.

I’ve always really like this level. One of the coolest things about this level are all the shortcuts. From the house, you can jump straight into the jungle tunnel, or go the back way and end up in the bamboo thicket. From the jungle tunnel, you can go straight to the climbing trees, and from there down to the vines, or back to the house. From the vines you can go down to the hippo lagoon. You can also bypass much of the vines by climbing onto the vine at the end of the lagoon. It’s impressive, and neat. The only caveat is that you will often find yourself falling down into these shortcuts while attempting to fight enemies. In fact, there are several areas in the game like this. They are great if you want to get somewhere faster, but if you fall down, you end up having to go around through four or five different areas just to get back to where you were.



Coliseum

 This level is entirely optional and super fun. Well, not entirely optional. You have to go there at least the first time. It starts out as nothing more than a training ground where Sora has to break all the barrels within the time limit. Then Hades gives you a ticket to enter the games, and it opens up. After a fight with Cloud from Final Fantasy VII, which you can win if you’re good enough but probably aren’t, you fight Cerberus. This fight is extremely difficult at this point in the game. But once you beat him, you will be allowed to enter the tournament.

There are four tournaments that take place within the game. Each tournament opens up at different times throughout the game. The first three tournaments consist of ten battles. After the third tournament has been completed, the level is officially “finished”. Later in the game, the player is allowed to enter a final tournament. This one is fifty battles long, ending with a fight against the Rock Titan.

After that battle is complete, the player can then enter two optional fights with the Ice Titan and with Sepheroth. The last two fights were added only in the American release of the game, but were added to the Japanese Final Mix version, along with some extra Riku scenes and one other optional fight in Hallow Baston. I’m not sure if the Hades cup was in the Japanese version of the game or not. For some reason, I don’t think it was, but I could be wrong.

The tournaments are one of the most fun parts of the game. You can battle them in three ways. First, with Sora, Donald, and Goofy, then with just Sora, then with a time limit of three minutes (thirty for the Hades cup). After you complete all three, you can then pick and chose the fight you want. One of the best things to do is complete the Hades cup with a time limit then go back and fight just the Rock Titan. Not only does he give you 3000 experience when you beat him, but every hit you make on him give you 1 tech point, which translates to 1 experience point per hit. So by the end of the fight you’re actually getting upwards around 6000 experience for beating the Rock Titan. Nice!



Agraiba

After a quick return trip to Traverse Town, you end up in a gummi ship worm hole and finally arrive at Agriba. Here you discover that the princesses of heart are being collected. In order to save Jasmine, Sora and the gang have to stop a Heartless centipede. It can be a hard fight if you’re not prepared, but it’s not so bad if you are.

After leaving Agriba town, you head out to the cave of wonders. Here there are so many secret paths and things to discover that you may never want to leave. Unfortunately, many of the things to discover cannot be acquired until later in the game. After a fight with Jafar, and gene Jafar you discover that Jasmine has already been taken.

Aladdin gives you the Gene summon, which you will probably never use, and you go on your way. At this point in the game enemies begin to become a challenge, though they still don’t pose too much of a threat. Many of the areas around Agriba you fight in are small, on top of buildings, near holes in floors, etc. This means that you will very likely end up down in the hole, or falling off the building. In some cases the enemies will follow you, but in others, they will not, and you will have to climb all the way back up, fight the enemy again, who are now at full health, and fall down again. It becomes really annoying at times, and the damn camera doesn’t do you any favors.



Monstro

You are given two choices for the next level, but neither of them matter, because your next level is Monstro. If you go to Traverse Town before choosing the next level, you can see a scene with Pinocchio and Jiminy. But you can choose to skip this scene all together. If you do chose to skip the scene, you still meet Pinocchio in side Monstro, and you already know him, even if you’ve never met him. It’s kind of strange. Anyway I digress.

The whole level itself is rather disturbing. You basically travel through several different parts of Monstro’s body until you end up in the bowls, where he shits you out back into his mouth (no joke), at which point you make for his stomach. The entire level sounds like you are walking on a wet sponge, only adding to the already disturbing nature of the level.

Monstro is where the game really begins to challenge you. The enemies aren’t that hard, but there are many of them(most of whom are the more annoying heartless named above). If you make a wrong step or choose the wrong chamber, you are thrown into battle with hoards of enemies. You can chose to skip the battle of course, but by then the damage has already been done. The Parasite Cage Heartless will piss you off to no end. It is the hardest and most irksome enemy in the game, at least up to this point. By the end of the level you will be so pissed at having to watch the same damn scene a hundred times that, when you finally beat it, you’ll do a victory lap around the neighborhood screaming TAKE THAT YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH I’M YOUR FUCKING DADDY BITCH! At which point your neighbors will start to worry and quickly phone the men in white to carry you off to a nice white padded room where you will be safe. Don’t worry, though, they’ll let you keep playing your game while you are there.



Halloween Town

  I’ll be perfectly blunt. Halloween Town doesn’t fit in Kingdom Hearts story well. There are no princesses of heart, there is no Riku, there is no Kiari, or any mention of Sora’s friends at all. With that said they somehow managed to make a story that worked. It is a story all on its own that has nothing to do with the movie. To this, I give Square credit.

Despite these small shortcomings, the level is pretty fun, I’ll be it small. You start out in the lab with the Doctor and Jack and end up going out to find Sally(voiced by Sora’s mother Hmm . . .) and later the Mayor. Locke, Shock, and Barrel, ruin everybody’s day by stealing the Doctor’s experiment and handing it over to Oogie Boogie. Sora and company beat Oogie Boogie and start to leave, only to find that Oogie’s body has taken over his whole house. Sora must defeat Oogie once more and return peace to the land.

What the level lacks in story, it makes up for in fun and spectacle. Climbing on Oogie Boogie can be fun, even with the annoyance of the camera.  There are hidden treasures, and a trinity mark hidden somewhere in Oogie’s house that, if not collected, will be lost for good. There are several doors leading to various areas with hidden treasures all through the grave yard at Curly Hill. One of the doors even looks like a Christmas tree, but does not lead to the Christmas world.

The level is dark and has some really great detail to it (like ringing Jack’s door bell). I have to say it’s quite impressive. Also, just a side note, Halloween town is the only place in the whole game (I believe) where you can fight all three types of mushroom Heartless (White, Black, and Rare/Blue).  The level also features a costume change for Sora, Donald and Goofy.



Atlantica

This level throws you a complete curve ball by placing you entirely under water. Sora, Donald, and Goofy (via Donald’s magic) are transformed into sea creatures. Almost all your abilities are stripped down in this level, which means, no blocking, no special skills, and no dodge roll. It’s something completely different.

In Atlantica, Sora meets up with Ariel and tries to find the keyhole. King Triton finds out and goes Apeshit crazy on Ariel, who gets back at her father by taking the sea witch Ursula to Triton’s throne where she steals his trident. It is up to Sora, Ariel, and one other party member to go and get it back.

According to IMDB.com trivia, Ariel was originally supposed to be one of the princesses of heart, but Square had already had the level more than half way complete, so they opted for Alice instead.

Because of this fact, the level has very little to do with the actual story of the game, but it’s still fun in its own way. The music in this level is the song “Under the Sea” from the movie, which is fun to hum along to when there are no heartless around (“This is Halloween” plays in Halloween Town) hey wouldn’t it be great if this whole level was turned into a giant sing along!!!!!! . . . . . . . . . . .



Neverland

Neverland is actually never featured in the game. You spend your time either on Captain Hook’s ship, or at the Clock tower. That is all. This is the place where story becomes most important. Riku, who has found Kairi, is mad at Sora for not trying hard enough to find her. In the mean time, Sora finds out that Peter Pan is an asshole boy with the ability to fly. Peter teaches Sora how to fly and, with his new found ability, Sora beats a mysterious Heartless that Riku modeled after him (Sora). Sora beats it, Beats Hook, and heads to the clock tower.

While I would have liked to see more of Neverland (which we do in later installments of the game) it’s still a fun level. Later in the game, if you come back to this level (to the area where you fight hook) this is the best place to fight the Rare Mushroom Heartless, because it’s easiest to hit them here. It’s also where you fight Phantom Later in the game.



Hallow Bastion

This is another original world. It acts as the dwelling place of all Final Fantasy characters (Midgard will never be featured in Kingdom Hearts get over it). When Sora arrives here it’s discovered that he is only the keyblade delivery boy. Riku takes Sora’s keyblade and gives him a wooden sword to play with. Luckily for Sora the Beast is here. He acts as your power until you can get your key back.

You start out the level in the dungeon, letting beast do most of the fighting. Sora can use his magic for support, but that’s about it. When you finally get the door opened, to a cutscene that rips off borrows from the Three Musketeers. Sora makes quick work of Riku and heads to the library to put the books away in the proper order because some idiot doesn’t know how to read.

In the mean time Riku runs away and meets some guy who screams out the words “darkness” every five seconds. Riku embraces the darkness while Sora travels up to the top floor of the castle where he meets Maleficent in the ultimate showdown. This fight is wicked fun. Melificent has some insane attacks, which will damage you pretty good. Maleficent becomes a freakn’ dragon in part two of the fight. This fight is even harder and will likely cause you several deaths. After the fight is through you go on to see a touching scene between Sora, Kiari, and Dark Riku (which loses its luster after the 10millionth time of watching it) and are forced into a fight with Dark Riku where you will die almost definitely.

 After the fight, Sora realizes that the only way to save Kairi is to sacrifice himself. He releases Kiari’s heart and in turn releases his own, becoming a Heartless. The player then takes control of Heartless Sora and follows Kairi, Donald, and Goofy. Kiari realizes that the Heartless following her is Sora, and by some sheer love or magical will, is able to turn him back into a boy.

The player is then taken back to Traverse Town where he is treated to another few cutscenes and heads back to Hollow Bastion to fight against the most fun enemies in the game, a Behemoth.



 The End of the World

This is what’s left of the worlds taken by the Heartless. It’s dark, dreary, and has great background music. The level appears to be straight forward, but as you progress through, you find that there is a clear path you must follow. Many of these paths lead to treasure chests full of enemies.

Once you get beyond this part (after the second behemoth battle of the level) you are taken to a small area where your main goal is to travel down. All you really have to do is jump down all the way, but if you’re anything like me, you’ll want to explore the area first. After jumping down into the hole and running through (or around) several pillars of light that transport you to places you’ve already been that make you fight enemies you’ve already fought, you finally end up at the final pillar.

This pillar pits you against Fantasia’s own Churnbog. Once again, another great fight with great music. “Night on Bald Mountain” is great. At the end of the fight, you head down into the mountain and into another room where you fight some more enemies and end up at what the game calls “final rest”, respectively.

At this point in the game, if you haven’t done any of the side quests, then this is your last chance. Should you choose to go on, you will be forced to end the game.

Once you enter the door you find yourself back on Destiny Island, only not the island that you once new. The mysterious man who screams out the words “darkness” every five seconds, and who we now know as Ansem, is waiting for you.

He screams out “darkness” a few more times before fighting you. He then disappears. Sora follows, fights Darkside for the third and final time, and fights Ansem once more on his own.

Ansem then Transforms into some giant face airship thing, because in true villain fashion he can’t just die like a good boy, and Sora has to fight him two more times, once by himself, and once with Donald and Goofy, who are transported into dark portals or something.

In the end, Ansem tries to open the door to Kingdom Hearts, which ends up killing him. Sora, Donald, and Goofy try to close the door. Riku (who had been taken over by Ansem appears to help out. King Mickey makes his first and last appearance in the game. Together with Riku and Mickey’s help, Sora closes the door, and locks it with his key.

Kairi appears out of nowhere to initiate the song “simple and clean” and start the credits rolling. As the credits roll you see the island being reshaped. Kairi goes into the secret place to find the drawing of Sora handing Kairi a love (Poupu) fruit. She is moved to tears and copies Sora’s drawing.

The last scene of the game takes place after the credits. Sora, Donald, and Goofy are all walking in an unknown field and see Pluto, carrying a note from the king. They chase after him. End game. That’s if you chose to go through the door at the end. If you chose to go and 100% the game, then there is still more to do.



Side Quests Secrets and Synthesis

  There are really only three side quests that matter in the whole game. Yes you can find all the treasure chests, yes you can get every keyblade, yes you can get every spell, and item, and find all Ansem’s notes, and make every synthesis item that there is to make, but none of those things really matter in the end.

The first side quest the player receives (depending on how you play the game) is the 101 Dalmatian quest. The quest is simple. Locate and recover all the missing Dalmatians. To actually do this, however, can be a pain in the ass. Many of the treasure chests you open naturally will contain Dalmatians. Some chests are well hidden and involve much exploring. The biggest problem with this (and many of the other quests) is that the game has no map. Thus you end up running around trying to locate any chest you have missed. It’s not much of a problem if you like exploring, but it can be tedious if you don’t. Jiminy’s journal is of little help in this as well. He will tell you how many puppies or trinities you have left to find, but he doesn’t tell you where they are, the prick.

The next side quest you get are the Trinity marks. These little buggers are extremely easy to miss. What’s more, they can only be activated with Sora, Donald, and Goofy, which means, if you choose Tarzan because Donald keeps dying on you, then you have to go back and try to remember where you saw the trinity that you skipped out on. Sometimes this is easy, while other times it’s not. Monstro has several trinities that you will likely miss, and one or two that you’ll have to come back to later in the game, but won’t want to or won’t be able to because Monstro doesn’t show up.

The third and final side quest is Winnie the fucking Pooh (Hundred Acre Woods). There are five or six pages to find. Entering the book (given to you by Cid to give to Merlin) forces you to interact with Winnie the fucking Pooh. I’ve always hated Winnie the fucking Pooh so these levels never appealed to me. I do them for the sole purpose of getting the secret ending. This time around, I was missing a single page and had no desire to go and find it, so I missed out on the secret movie, which you can youtube now anyway so it really doesn’t matter. I hate that damn bear.

Some other side quests, on the more fun side of things, are the postcard quest that takes place within Traverse Town, the Deep Jungle’s tunnel sliding and vine swinging quests, and the Coliseum’s many battles.

There are also some secrets to find within the game. One secret is to travel to Neverland’s clock tower at exactly, say, 30,000 hours into the game. Doing so will get you a hidden treasure. I don’t know how many times you can do this. There are some hidden chests in Hallow Bastion to find as well which you can get access to via the library or by doing certain things within the levels, like altering the path of the elevators.

 




Of course the game’s greatest secrets are the optional boss fights. They are crazy fun because they really challenge the player. The Phantom especially, really makes you think on your toes. I tried to fight him and realized, after both Donald and Peter were dead, that I forgot to change my potions out with ethers. Needless to say, I died, but I had fun with it all the same.

One of the most tiring, frustrating, longest, most irksome things to do in the game is synthesis. At first it’s not so bad. You kill enemies and they drop useless items. You take said useless items and combine them to make better items. Sounds easy right? Well later in the game, when you’re trying to get your ultimate weapon, it’s not. Here’s what I mean:

You just finished Hollow bastion for the second time. You don’t want to go to the last level yet because you want to synthesize items first. You go to Traverse Town and find out that you need some thunder gems. Head to Atlantica where thunder gems are found. Spend thirty minutes waiting trying to get enemies to drop thunder gems(even with Lucky Strike equipped). Finally get what you need, go back to traverse town. Find out you need some frost gems, head back to Atlantica and spend another fifteen minutes trying to get them. Head back to Traverse town and find out you still need bright gems, go to Atlantica where you know you saw a seach ghost heartless. Can’t for the life of you remember where you saw the search ghost, so you head to Halloween Town where there are bound to be ghosts. Fight a bunch of wraiths and gargoyles, and darkballs, nearly dying in the process, and finally make it past curly hill where you fight four search ghosts, two of which drop a bright gem, but you need one more so you keep going. Fight three more search ghosts where Oogie Boogies house once was only to be disappointed. Remember where you saw the search ghosts in Atlantica and head back there. Fight three search ghosts, one of which drops a bright gem. Head back to Traverse town only to find out that you need some power gems. Head to Neverland, fight a bunch of enemies, get all the power gems you need in one go, head back to Traverse town. Realize you need a power crystal. Go around Traverse town and fight wyverns that refuse to drop any power crystals and in the process realize that you could have stayed here to fight the search ghosts. Head to Hallow Bastion where you will have more luck finding Power Crystals. Realize half way up the castle that Donald Learned Lucky Strike 6 levels ago. Equip Lucky Strike and continue fighting, leave the level and come back to refresh the enemies. Begin assent up the castle again. Get a power crystal an hour later. Go back to Traverse town. Realize that you still need a bright crystal. Head out into traverse town and fight all the defenders you can find. Get a bright crystal half an hour later. Go back to the synthesis shop, realize that you never went to the last level and still need some gale. Go to the last level and complete it up to final rest, receiving 13 gales, which is more than enough. Go back to Traverse town and begin synthesis. You finally make everything and are able to get the ultimate weapon, but find out that you first need 3 mystery goo 5 thunder gems 3 power gems and a power crystal. Come to the realization that you just wasted 17 and half hours of your life. Repeat.



 
 

 
 One of the coolest secrets in the game is a cutscene called “another side another story” which appears only if you close every key hole (including Winnie the Pooh) find every Dalmatian and every trinity. The scene depicts a hooded figure who wields two keybaldes. In it is also a blindfolded Riku and a girl on a beach. The scene makes absolutely no sense until you play the next game, but it looks superb.

Gameplay

While Kingdom Hearts shares many of its game play elements with the Final Fantasy series, the two couldn’t be more different. While Final Fantasy, at this point, was made on “turn based battles” Kingdom Hearts dared to be different. Rather than turn based battles, the game play takes place live. You can attack, use magic, or items whenever you want by clicking on the command bar. Mean while you can jump, roll, fly, and swim with the analog stick and/ or the buttons. The game feels more “realistic” despite its cartoony look.



What’s more, the game encourages you to play differently. Trickmaster, for example, is hard to attack physically, so you have to use magic to knock him out and then attack him when he falls. Ursula has a similar mechanic with her cauldron. If you try to attack Maleficent dragon head on, you will likely get burned. It’s much easier to use the Strike Raid ability (provided it hits her) from atop the tree roots where you are mostly safe.  The best way to beat the behemoth is to climb up on his back and hack away at him until he falls, then attack him some more. The Rock Titan fight is also similar to this. The Ice Titan has you dodge rolling and blocking his attacks until he falls unconscious, then going in for the kill.

Each fight is unique and different and makes you think. Magic is also a key factor. Each spell, with the exception of Stop and Gravity, (I think) only costs 1 mp. Every time Sora is hit or hits an enemy he gains a sliver of MP back. About three hits or so, and you have a bar of MP. This makes it easier to heal when the time comes, but still makes it difficult enough to accomplish as enemies can interrupt your heal.

Mean while, Donald, Goofy, and all your other party members have really good AI. Donald healed me more times than I can count, and was always ready for me should I need it again. Goofy is always there to help when I was having trouble. Both Donald and Goofy use their abilities wisely and just sparingly enough so that, when they do help you, you are always thankful.

Another neat feature in Kingdom Hearts is the way you gain experience. You can gain experience in one of two ways. The first, and most obvious way, is to beat an enemy. You get anywhere from 1 to 3000 experience points for beating enemies. The second, and more interesting way, is to perform a well timed parry. For example, when a Large Body pounds its stomach and comes running, the player can hold up the block button and parry its attack. For this you get something like 36tech. Most of the time you will only get 1tech, but it depends on the enemy. Some Heartless give you tech points just for attacking them (like the Rock Titan mentioned above). It is a nice way to gain some extra experience points in the game, though not at all necessary. It’s also possible to gain tech points by countering an enemy attack just at the right moment. This is a little harder to do than just blocking, but still possible.   

Conclusion

Kingdom hearts is a massively fun game even now. It’s story is dark and ominous. Its worlds are versions of Disney stories that have been cut up just enough to fit into the narrative of the game (for the most part). The main characters are likable, while the villains are (almost) all characters we remember and fear from our childhood. The Final Fantasy characters add to the “seriousness” of the story, without overshadowing the Disney aspects of the story. It’s all presented in an almost perfect little package.

The only part of the game that feels out of place is the gummi ship. To put it simply, it’s not fun. You can build your own ship and transform it and do all kinds of neat things, but the gummi ship, despite all that, just never appeals to me. I added a laser, to break through walls faster and a haste to make it through the gummi levels faster, but otherwise I never touched it. While the gummi ship is slightly improved in the games that precede this one, it never feels necessary.

Another thing that bothers me is the song “Simple and Clean”.  I will get flamed for saying it, but while the song was written for this game, it doesn’t really fit in the grand scheme of things. Let’s take a look at the lyrics:

 When you walk away
You don't hear me say,
"Please, oh baby, don't go."
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight
It's hard to let it go

Okay, this part could be make sense in the game. I would have to really think about where though.

You're giving me too many things
Lately, you're all I need.
You smiled at me and said

If it’s referring to the moogles synthesis or the heartless dropping too many items, then maybe, but otherwise no.

"Don't get me wrong, I love you,
But does that mean I have to meet your father?"
When we are older you'll understand
What I meant when I said,
"No, I don't think life is quite that simple"

When in the hell is Sora’s father ever mentioned? His mother at least speaks, but his father? Who is Soras father anyway? More importantly, is it relevant. I personally think Sora’s father should be one of these famous Square charaters:

 




 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
MAKE THIS HAPPEN SQUARE

The daily things that keep us all busy
Are confusing me
That's when you came to me and said

I suppose this makes a bit of sense, maybe, in the beginning of the game. Otherwise, no.

"Wish I could prove I love you,
But does that mean I have to walk on water?"
When we are older you'll understand
It's enough when I say so
And maybe some things are that simple

Um, Sora gets gobbled up by a wave, does that count?

Hold me
Whatever lies beyond this morning
Is a little later on
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all
Nothing's like before

Sure, this works fine. But you see my point, the lyrics don’t really match up with the game. Now, I don’t want you to think that I hate the song, because I don’t. I think it’s quite pretty. But which song could be used to replace it? How about one of these:


“Going Under” by Evanescence fits every well with the theme of the game in general. This song would make for a great replacement.


“Imaginary” from the same band, works so well with the theme of the game that people have made music videos about it already. It is a beautiful song. Seriously, if Utada Hikaru ever decides stop making music for Kingdom Hearts please call up Amy Lee and ask beg her to do it.


“See Who I Am” by Within Temptations could also fit into the theme of the game. While the music may be a bit too hard, the lyrics fit really well.


“Crawling” by Linkin Park, okay so this may be pushing it a little, but is does kind of work. Although I’m not sure if this song was out when the first Kingdom Hearts came out so scratch that.

Other than the song and the gummi shipsthe game is also not without a few plot holes. I won’t name off everyone, but I will say that they are significant at times. Some, like Sora’s mother, are easily forgotten, while others stick with you, like Kairi appearing out of nowhere at the end of the game. These plot holes are easily disregarded in the grand scheme of the game, however. Kingdom Hearts was a bold move on Squaresoft’s part, and it was definitely a step in the right direction. Now if only they would do this more often.



 
 

Next up Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories  

 

          

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday, March 24, 2013

The Death of Final Fantasy





Square's first attempt at making us care
about characters is, sadly, a failure.
By now everyone probably knows the history of Final Fantasy (FF). A small company known as Squaresoft published its “final” game in 1987 (date taken from Wikipedia and therefore likely wrong) which in turn spawned 13 14 sequels. And that’s not counting all the Tactics, Crystal Chronicle, Anime, Hentai, and various other spin-offs it has spawned as well.
    Every JRPG there after tried to be like Final Fantasy. And why not? It was a great game, but it was not without its flaws. The main characters of the first game are forgettable at best. Final Fantasy 2 (Japan’s version of two; not the North
American version of two which is actually 4) didn’t have characters level up, but rather each character’s abilities increased or decreased
depending on what weapons or magic the player used. The characters had a bit more depth to them but they still failed to inspire any kind of emotional attachment. Final Fantasy 3 (again not the North American version which was actually 6. Why they didn’t bring them all over here in the first place is beyond me. Crack maybe?) went back to bland and Forgettable characters. The DS version of FF3 tried to give the characters more personality, but that was, sadly, a failure as well. One thing that FF3 did right, however, was that it started the Job system. Of which has been a staple of the series ever since; in some form or another. As stated above, up to this point none of the characters in the series were ever that interesting.
 
Cecil Harvey takes on his darkside.
Enter Cecil Harvey. He was the first character in a Final Fantasy game that had any kind of personality. Cecil fights off the darkness that plagues him and becomes a paladin. And that’s not even mid way through the game. There were plenty of other characters to care about in FF4 as well, some of which were only with you for a short time. IV is also when the story telling actually started to evolve into something much more complex. No longer did we have the “nameless characters go off to save crystals and/or world” scenario. While four did feature the crystals, this time shit started to get heavy. Now there were eight crystals, a trip to the underworld, and a trip to the moon. I should also note that while the story was more complex, it never took away from the game play.

Final Fantasy V brought back the job system of three, along with several recycled story elements that helped to flesh out the story a bit more. Final Fantasy V is also the first game to have a proper Villain. FF One had Garland/Chaos who you meet only once twice throughout the entire game. Two had the Emperor who was a pretty evil dude who dies, goes to Hell, sells his soul to the devil, then takes over the place and comes back from the dead. Three’s villain is mentioned in passing on several occasions throughout the game but is never met until the final fight where he/she/it, like so many other JRPG villains is taken over by an even darker force that the characters are forced to fight. IV’s villain was Golbez who is a big dick until he has a change of heart and says he was being controlled Zeromus, a moon alien that you have never heard of before that appears only at the end of the game. Sound Familiar? In V we have X-Death or EXDEATH or Exodus (the latter most likely correct, seriously, the translation in FF V is shit. A dingleberry really? Lay off the crack square) who is really an evil tree who wants to take over the world. That’s it. He’s not being controlled. He’s not devoured by some higher supernatural force or killed and spat out of Hell. He’s evil. He’s nasty, and he makes one hell of a good villain.


Kefka: giving man a reason to fear clowns.
This super awesome super bad villain carries over to Final Fantasy 6 in the form of Kefka. He is one insane son of a bitch. He doesn’t try to destroy the world and fail like all the final fantasy villains before or after him, he actually SUCCEEDS! Six is also when final fantasy began to shy away from the fantasy and move on to a more steampunk/ SIFI feel which has carried over for much of the series. The story in six is much more story driven than all the others up to this point. And the story is really good, even by today’s standards it can still hold up. At the end of the game we are treated to our first second (the first being a scene in 4 at the beginning) FMV cut scene.

Then along came seven. Before we go any further let me just say that Sepheroth is a pushover. I beat him at the end (spoilers, the last fight with just him and Cloud) with a single limit break. His role in the game is minimal at best. The true villain in the game is Hojo, who makes Nazi doctors look like decent guys, and Jenova, who is debatably pulling Sepheroth’s strings the entire time. With that said, the story in seven is top notch. Like six before it, the story still holds true today, maybe even more so. Rather than evil Emperors or Kings, seven has an evil President bent on draining the earth of all its energy so that he can churn a prophet (Also more interesting than Sepheroth). Seven also has the first black man, Barrett, and the first nonhuman character(s) CaitSith the puppet cat thing and RedXIII (whom I always like to name Nanaki, which makes for rather comical storytelling later “hey Nanaki, who’s Nanaki?”) And it has one of the most memorable moments in gaming history with the death of Ares (as if you didn’t already know). However, even with such a great story, there are still flaws with the game, like with all the others. There are plot holes for starters (If Tifa is so good at martial arts why would she have a slap fight atop a gun? Why doesn’t Tifa just roundhouse-kick Scarlet into meteor?) Also, just a side note, but why not use the battle scene character models as the game play character models as well? But I digress. Seven’s story is far more complex than anything seen in a final fantasy game yet. To this day it is one of the best. Oh, and fuck square for milking the shit out of this game. If you want us to buy FFVII then remake the damn thing. Which they did. Good job. Now will you please remake Chrono Trigger already?

VIII goes back to the formula of, one villain is controlled by another villain is controlled by another villain who the creators just made up because they couldn’t decide who they wanted the villain to actually be. The story in VIII is more of a love story between the two main characters than anything else(And a bat-shit crazy one with time compression at that). Squall’s transformation from” Emo Git” to “Douch” is likely the main plot of the game. (This of course is just speculation, as the plot in the game makes about as much sense as the plot of a Hentai [which in itself probably makes more sense than the entirety of Final Fantasy VIII]). But this is where things start to go sour. The story in VIII, while still good, begins to feel almost intrusive. This happened a bit in six and seven as well. The opera scene in ff6 for example has you controlling Locke, then Edgar, then Celes. Even when FF7 had long cut scenes, you were given control of cloud (you know you went to Tifa's underwear drawer too). Every few steps in VIII there is some kind of a cut scene, then some fighting, then a cut scene. It goes like this:

· Game play

· Pretty cut scene

· Boss fight

· Another pretty cut scene

· Brief Game play

· Plain boring cut scene

· Repeat
 
Also missing from VIII are the side quests. Sure it had the card game (the monkey thing doesn’t count) and some extra GF’s to find, some Chocobo quests which you could play if you got a pocket station that I’m pretty sure never came to America, and if it did no one bothered to buy, and one dungeon to explore. And don’t even get me started on those damn tutorials.


IX is a return to castles and kings and regents and airships (6 and 7 had air ships while 8 had a space ship, but so did 4 so I guess that counts). The game was originally going to be a side story (like Crystal Chronicles or Tactics) and it shows. It’s still a fun game however. It’s the first final fantasy I ever played and honestly one of my favorites. But even it has its flaws. The villain Kuja, the Kefka wanna be, is laughable at best. The main character is okay, and the other characters have their ups and downs. Albert Steiner and Vivi are among my favorites. IX is also the last game in the series feature a proper world map.

Having a guy named Cid does not a good Final Fantasy
movie make.
Then came the movie Spirits Within and everything went to Hell. Square lost tons of money, fired the director/ producer of Final Fantasy Hironobu Sakaguchi (don’t worry I can’t pronounce it either), acquired enix (who made the dragon quest games) and started producing shit. 

I’ll say this about the next game: X was decent. I am not a fan of blitz ball. I found the whole thing to be tedious and boring. The only reason I even tried it was to get Tidus’s ultimate weapon, which I gave up on after I remembered I didn't care. There were still plenty of other side quests to complete though. The game was fun, but it featured many flaws and changes. Firstly, there was no world map. You had to walk the entire world until you were finally given the air ship. This leads to the second point that while it did have an air ship, you couldn’t fly it in any way shape or form. You simply chose your destination from a list of previously ventured places and are magically transported there. Lastly, the game gave the appearance of an opened world, with several branching paths to veer you from the main course, but the path you needed to be on was never far off. Sin also did make for an interesting villain. Seymour, the guy who looked like he stuck his finger in an electrical socket, was about as villainous as a back-up toilet. The story and game play were pretty good. This game is also the first to have voice actors and to feature the sphere grid that has been in every game since. It is also the first game to get a shitty sequel.
XI and XIV are online only. I refused to pay $60 for a game then an extra $10 a month just to play it. Not only that, but XIV was so bad that Square publicly apologized for its existence. NEXT! I do want to try the "new and improved FF XIV but I have yet to sign in for my demo. I have time. It's only been a year....



Vaan makes even gay men look striaght.
XII came out and changed everything up even more. The random encounters were no longer random (a welcome feature in my opinion) the characters were likeable (with the exception of Vaan who just needs to die) and the story was good but not great. The villains are forgettable at best. Okay I admit evil Cid was kind of cool. The story in the games since VIII had all become intrusions to game play. Even IX’s story (which I loved) could feel intrusive at times. Rather than having some gameplay driven story mechanic in the game we are treated to 90 minute beautifully rendered cutscenes. The battle system could be set up so that you just watched the entire game. All you had to do was move from point A to point B and let the game do all the work. Yeah you could control the character if you wanted, but why control them yourself when the computer does it for you right? RIGHT? At least we still have the open world (more opened than X but not as opened as IX) to look forward to . . .

Until now. Final Fantasy XIII took our opened worlds away for a more liner approach. The game practically plays itself when it actually plays. The characters are bland and forgettable (maybe with the exception of Sazah, the only other black man in the whole series, bringing the grand total to 3. The second is Kiros from VIII). And there are no air ships. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if you didn’t have to walk everywhere. If you’re going to make me walk the whole game then at least give me a fucking run/dash feature. You also aren’t given any incentive to return to places you’ve visited, nor can you. And of course, since this game was so highly received by fans it has spawned not one, but two sequels that nobody wanted.
Why the hell has this not made the
next gen leap yet?
At this point the only thing that can save Final Fantasy is Final Fantasy Versus XIII. If it fails to redeem the series, then there’s no hope. In all honesty though, I think FF should have died after VII. Sure nine was good. Sure ten had a good story, but after a while things start to fall apart. What was once good loses its luster. Bread gets moldy, chips go stale, soda goes flat, and games get old. Final Fantasy fell into this trap a long time ago. No Final Fantasy will ever top VII’s story. No FF villain will ever be as cool as Kefka. No characters will ever overcome his or her darkness like Cecil. The Final Fantasy we all know and love is gone and it’s never coming back.

But maybe this can be a good thing. Maybe Square should put the game to rest and truly make a Final Final Fantasy. They have plenty of other games they can butcher remake, like ChronoTrigger/Cross, or Dragon’s Quest or Kingdom Hearts (which still needs at 3 damit) or this new Agni’s Philosophy which I fear is a code name for FF, though I hope I am wrong (and now that Square has acquired Eidos, it has a plethora of other games as well). Just give us Versus Square, then stop. Final Fantasy used to mean great adventure, great story, great characters and great fun. Now it’s like watching Toy Story, then all of a sudden everything stops and you wonder what’s going on. You check the console to make sure that it hasn’t frozen up on you. You then pick up the controller trying to unpause the video, and when you hit the button, your character starts moving and you remember, oh yeah, I’m playing a game. From what I have seen of Versus, which admittedly isn’t much, I am excited. I want Final Fantasy to succeed. What I don’t want is to follow a single line to a cut scene and a boss fight. I want to explore the world. I want to find secrets, and most of all, I don’t want characters that make me want to throw up in my mouth.


Now, it’s like watching an interactive Pixar film in which the characters try to get you to like them by begging. I have not issues with Pixar’s films, which are fantastic, most of the time (cars2 was rubbish) but if I buy a game, I want to play it, not watch it. We all know what happens Square when you try to make a movie. If you want to make a game, then make a game. Leave the movie making to the professionals.



 


 


 

Thursday, February 28, 2013

My Experience with Uncharted



Uncharted was always one of those games that I wanted to play some day, but never got around to doing. That is, until recently. Now, when I first saw Uncharted I figured it would be like the Tomb Raider games e.g. lots of puzzles and some fighting. I have played every Tomb Raider game (actually I started with 2, but I did play anniversary). I haven’t played the last one though: Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light. I played the demo, and while it was fun, it’s another one of those games that, like Uncharted, I might get around to eventually.

So I pop Uncharted in, and for a while, it’s very much like Tomb Raider. Then the gun fighting starts. The last first person shooter I played was Doom 1 on the PC, and I did so bad that, at the end of the level when it was tallying up my time I shit you not; the numbers were replaced with the words “Time Sucked.” I didn’t give up on shooters until Quake at which point the running and jumping and looking up and down was too much for me. I need to see my character in front of me not just his arms. So, Uncharted is a third person shooter as opposed to a first person shooter. It didn’t matter to me, first, second, or third person shooter I suck at all of them. Nevertheless I persevered. That is until mid way through the game.

It’s around then that the snipers came in. Up to this point I had already met the rocket launcher guy (technically it was a mechina 34 or whatever the hell their gun was called) and now I had snipers. Both of whom could one shot me, and did, often. Which brings me to another unrelated point. How come I’m the only one who seems to be able to run out of ammo? I finally manage to kill a rocket launcher guy and I get three shots out of his gun while he gets ten or more? I call bullshit! The same thing can be said with the sniper.

So after the snipers I was ready to give up. I put the game down for a day or two. I told myself that when I came back I should treat the fighting more like a puzzle and figure it out rather then run in there with guns blazing. It worked. I started to enjoy the game again . . . that is until the final fight. So I’m back in the monastery fighting two rocket launcher guys and four five snipers and getting my ass kicked. (There should totally be a trophy for that by the way. Die two hundred billion times, get a trophy). I will say this about Uncharted, its load times are vast improvement over Tomb Raider where, if you die, you are taken to a load screen and eventually brought back to just before you died. In Uncharted you die and come right back to where the game last saved. Why in the hell I can’t save the game MY SELF anymore is beyond me. One of the most fun things about the old Tomb Raider games was that you could do a beautiful swan dive off a cliff and save your game right there, and die every time. I did it on purpose just for the sheer fun of it. Anyway I digress.

I finally get passed the monastery and now I’m on a boat. This time the sniper can shoot up to four shots and never run out of ammo. So here I am (after receiving my nonexistent two hundred billionth death trophy back in the monastery) on a boat, dead . . . again. So I finally make it to the end and there’s a quick time event. If there’s one thing I hate more than first person shooters it’s quick time events. Those things need to fucking die already. At least this quick time event was consistent; unlike another game I played- cough God of War cough.

So I finally beat the game. I liked it for the most part. But it’s got me thinking. The new Tomb Raider game is supposed to be a reboot. I’m fine with this, but the creators are taking inspiration from Uncharted (and Assassin’s Creed apparently) which is in itself already a reboot of Tomb Raider (Uncharted not Assassin’s Creed). Either way I will buy the new Tomb Raider. I just hope it’s more like Tomb Raider and less like Uncharted. Again, not to say Uncharted is bad, in fact the story, characters and the game itself were quite enjoyable, better than Tomb Raider in many ways (of which I won’t get into here) and I intend to play the next two games as soon as I can, but I grew up with Tomb Raider so I will always have a place in my heart for Miss Croft.

 UPDATE:

I liked Uncharted 2 even more than the first game. I am eager to go and pick up the third. But, as always, there are some things that I don’t like.

Now I don’t know a whole lot about guns, but I’m pretty sure, if a guy is wearing full armor (of any kind) and I shoot rocket into his face, he’s going to die. Not the case with Uncharted 2. Those machine gun guys took three hits with a rocket!

My only other issue with the game was the goat/ yeti/ purple zombie guys. I shot the thing in the face with a shot gun multiple times and nothing. The main villain (Gragoravich?) shoots one in the face with a shot gun and it dies instantly. That’s so not fair! He could one shot me as well though, so maybe he had a high powered shot gun, yeah, let’s go with that.


UPDATE:

So I beat Uncharted 3, which harkened back to Uncharted 1, which means more gun fights. There were times when Nate says “need to take these guys out quietly.” But every time I tried the guy turned around. It didn’t matter if I waited five seconds or five minutes to figure out his pattern. Once I started moving, he turned, initiating another gun fight. In the carefully thought out words of Final Fantasy VI’s Kefka I


  SHOOTERS!

Other than that, Uncharted 3 was a fun game. There are two things that baffle me though. 1, In Uncharted 1, 2, and 3, Drake had several chances to shoot the villains in the head, why did he not? It would have made life much easier. 2, I fail to see what Drakes “deception” was. Maybe I just missed it, or maybe it was the part of the game when he leaves (forgot blond girl’s name) behind to get on the plain, or maybe it’s referring to his name,  which apparently is not Nathan Drake, OR maybe it’s referring to Sir Francis Drake’s deception.

All in all it is a good game. I am looking forward to The Last Of Us. And probably Uncharted 4. I really must love torturing myself.